My EVERYday LIFE . . .

2006-09-08T19:50:00.000+08:00

hMmm today's a great day with her.
At first was really excited about today coz she cannot always go out with me alone de. hMmm was looking forward to today lahx. Hmmm as expected it was really enjoyable.
donno why when i look forward to something i knew its a feeling that tells me that it will be good n i'll like it.
hMm seems like my senses are strong? lolx jkjk . .

hMmm early in the morning kanna wake up by her sms. lolx i sleep till donno why my backbone so damn pain. When wake up in the morning cant get up coz backbone very pain. :( then wake up and sat on my bed for a while then got another sms from her again so i quickly get up and go prepare!
When to get changed then do my hair as usual lolx hMmm then she keep smsing me to rush me to get ready fast.
LOLX! was late again lahx as usual ops! sorry have to let her wait.
hmmm then board the bus was like so damn crowded lor then have to squeeze. hMmmm then on the bus was chatting all the way to plaza sing then. When alight went straight to cinema! LOLX! was looking forward to watch the movie LITTLE MAN! but know wad its NC16 >.<" . . she cant go in then in the end watched the devil wears prada. hMMmm then the show was boring lahx. Watched till half then we went off le do nwant watch liao. Then went to arcade! wootx! hMmm know wad?! i always go arcade de will even lose a game to her! omg! arg next time must practise more le then can win her! lolx! hMmmm heex so cute siax we two playing. Like children like that lose le then beat the other party lolx! But was fun lahx.

hMmm then went off to had our lunch! omg i bought so much food ! sorry didnt bring enough money :( hMmm bought teriyaki chicken rice, thai chilli chicken rice and 6 tako yaki balls.
omg just one meal for two costs a bomb! lolx! nvm can see that she enjoys her meal. hMmm then after that i tried stuffing all the food in my stomach coz i didnt feel well. But dont waste mahx plus the food so nice lolx. hmmm then after that we went to walk walk. heex help to digest our food in our stomach. hMmm then went to the CD shop to get my jay de CD!!!!!!!
hMmm paid $2 more to buy his poster! lolx lame siax a little regret buynig it. I also not gay want his poster for wad. i only enjoys his songs niax and take him as my idol. hMmm nvm lahx already buy le. Then we went to look for things to buy. In the first place already thought of buying things for her le. nvm i will buy something for her ^^ heex.

hMmmm then we went to 77th street to look for things then we saw the card holder. Then each of us purchased one as our wallet. hMmm the card holder really nice siax.
hMmm mine just nice enough to store important thigns but not enough to store all my cards coz i got too much cards le. hMmm. Then after that we went around the shopping centre to walk walk and see. We went to browse at phones etc. lolx so fun! although we kept walking and talking and looking at things but donno why it can be so enjoyable. Its even more enjoyable than going out with others to only walk and shop.
hMmmm really enjoyed today lahx but too bad lahx haiis time flies so fast. I REALLY MISSED TODAY!
hMmm then after that kept finding the things i wanna buy for her but cant find. nvm next time i go out find. heex! hMmm aww the sad thing is that we have to go home le. haiish really don wish to be apart from her so soon. Hmmm but its impossible lahx she had to go home early. hMmmm then on the bus we slot all the stuffs in our wallet into the card holder we bought. hMmm then went reached le have to go home le . . Sad to see her go . . Can see that after i left she was turning back and looking at me. Like don wish to leave me. *cry*
how i wish i can . . . sobx sobx . .

* fear not that i will leave you coz i never tried doing so.
i really enjoyed today ! i never felt so happy before. thanks for brightening up my life :)
I LOVE YOU! never regret being with you.
thanks for your understanding today. you're so sweet ^^*

- picturing the image of us leaving apart makes me feel so sad. i will draw that image out -

2006-09-05T16:00:00.000+08:00

hMmmmm haiis. .
Guess i'm no longer important anymore le bahx. haiish . . sobx sobx sobx . .
today morning haiis . .
Then after that sent her to her FnN i went to somewhere and sit alone. haiish. was thinking so much and wondering . .

haiish SS so sianx lahx wanna fall asleep. but cant if not kanna scolded. haiis then after finished so bored lahx. alone again. haiis. then waited for her. then after that go home le.

HAIISH. :(

one paragraph.
hMmmm being together with u is so enjoyable. i really enjoy it. ^^
well her food is nice ya? yaya next time cook for me every meal. heex says wanna cook muffin for me. but haiish sure will forget de . :(
chocolate chip! my favorite.

2006-09-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

hMmmm today in the afternoon so bored. haiis. at home nothing to do. haiis. feel like going out study.
hMmm then ask my friend they say they going out study later.
so i went along with them.
hMmmm then decided to study at fajar macdonald. hMmmm then went to meet RT first at his house downstairs. haiis.

hMmmm then went to mac along the way was chatting with him.
hmmm then when reached we started revising then joey was asking me abotu mother tongue de paper 1 format.
hMmm nto bad lahx also can refresh and reminds back the format so that i wont forget.
Then ong came along. he was tired ya. then after that when we begin to chat and play then he become energetic again.
hMmm then after that i didnt really study much lahx was playing all along with them.
Like to li siao me so much. then after that was playnig with the camera of our phones . ^^
hMmm lolx lame siax. then they keep disturbing lahx.
Then around 4 - 5 pm like that we decide to stop and went to play BB.

hMmm went to green ridge and bought ice creams first.
After that went to play. heex we had several matches.
hMmmm then when we challenge each other for 3pointer shoooting, those who loses will have to do pumpings.
Of course i agreed coz i wan do pumping.
hmmmm then when we played, i tried to think of her, to shoot in and score for her!
hMm and i did it for some.
Then during the last ball they look me down, say that i wont score but in the end i did so every of them have to do 20 except me. DON EVER LOOK DOWN ON ME! I AM FULL OF SURPRISES!
hmmm i wasnt good in shooting becoz i'm not shooting de, i'm tall so my position is at the bottom of the ring. so no need do so much of 2 or 3 pointer shooting.

hmmmm then went home after that . ^^ great day with them .

hmmm ok heres a paragraph for her! my D! see i so good go t write her name lolx. hMmm lalala so bad no cook for me. nvm tuesday i got! heex! wootx! TUESDAY! yay can see her le. hMmm. lalala got miss me?( she must be saying got ) no lor i no sneeze hor. don brrraaaffff. lolx. so broken english . hahax.
hMmm lalala i pig , u pig , we pig.
two little pig sitting on the wall. one pig falls , another follows. lolx.
K lahx finish reading le bahx. go sleep bahx pig pig. ^^

2006-08-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

hMmm haiis missed out sleep for two days le. . so freaking tired!
First day night was chionging all the way for my DNT folio haiis then was so lonely lahx doing everything alone and staying awake from 9am to 6am in the morning without any sleep! omg.
The escond day was dead beat lahx but had to go on to school. hMmmm then second day also the same didnt sleep again haiis. second day i'm totally falling apart. Tired till can fell asleep within on second! Treid to sleep but all lesson so busy have to do this do that. arg. Then during bla bla bla's lesson we all were so damn tired then she at there lecture us aout our life. Like wtf we really very tired lehx hello not we dont wanna pay FULL attention ok.
I know its my fault to not able to pay attention but u go imagine if u didnt sleep for two continuous days how are u able to pay full attention in everything u do?!

Then i tried to argue back which i think i shouldnt have. i said " not we don want to listen mahx is we so tired how to?!" usually i always kept quiet in class de. but that one i cant tahan le is becoz i really think it's not my fault for not able to stay awake.
THen she cry. wtf. like lie as if i don wanna study lor. Wad i want is just concentrate my dnt. When finish le then chiong others subject. After all i think miss kuek is the only teacher which always thinks and consider our thoughts and wad we need. She always ask us wad happen to us or why are we so tired. Although most of the times she's strict looking. But frankly speaking she's a understanding teacher.
well she's the only teacher i gave most respect to and pay most attention to her lessons. Although english wont be a very interesting sub but rather bored, she is able to make us all listen n make it interesting for us.
hmMm how i wish i can forever only have eng, physics and geog as my sub. haiis. geog the best is the teacher better dont @#$%@#@$*$!
hMmm yesterday when i hadnt finish with my dnt, D helped me along! so touched! heex. hMmm then went home slept so much still not enough today really like a pig siax.! lolx! hmmm then today is teacher;'s day! woot! hMmmm but had eng prelims sotday.SHIT! didnt have enough time to finish! AHHH!!! die! i don wanna fail my eng! I cant afford to fail eng! nvm i will work harder. THIS SEPTEMBER HOLIDAY MARKS MY START OF HARDWORK!

hMmm first time i wanna study siax. maybe really is no more time and i dont wanna regret in the end. like my DNT haiis i doubt i can get As anymore coz my folio wasnt perfect. i skiiped so much and in the end i realise all my friends had 40+ to 50 pages and me? only 36. Aimed so high for DNT coz it consist so much of drawings but now. haiis.
die le lahx O lvl lehx not prelim lehx! Wished i realised it earlier. NVM! still can buck up de!
SEPTEMBER HOLIDAY HERE I COME! to study.! Don wanna be or feel regret anymore. NO matters how much it takes or how much sleep i will miss out. Just don wanna feel regret again.

i hope i can persist on this motivation. i know my motivation don last long but hope this can. I really don wish to fail. i need it!
`weiilunn-

2006-08-21T19:03:00.000+08:00

I'M TIRED! I'M SO TIRED!!!
haiis yesterday night regretted going to airport with my oparents n some relatives to fetch my cousin from overseas.
she went overseas to work.
hmm haiis so envy her. got such a well paid job.
I wish i can have a future like her. And also she was just married and living happily with her husband. haiis so envy her! she has everything! But not me. :(

Yesterday night went to airport then. Felt a bit hungry so went to bought burger king to stop the starving.haiis. hMmm then when my cousin came out. Then we left for somewhere to eat chilli crab.
hMmm when reached, my father treat everyone to eat. OMG! two crabs for the price of $101?! When the crab is served, OMG!!!!! WTH! The crab is so freaking big! no wonder so expensive. only the pincer of the crab itself is already as big as my whole palm! can imagine how big?! The head cover of the crab is even as big as my bowl.
hMmm the chilli crab is so freaking spicy! i only ate one pincer then it made me drank the whole can of chrysenthemen tea? hMmmm omg so spicy till my stomach so uncomfortable. ^ ppl cant even finish the crab. Can imagine how big it is? hMmm haiis then on the way home so xin ku. Earlier on shouldnt have ate it. I rather i eat burger king. hmmmm when reached home had to rush and finish my geog and ss. omg didnt complete SS. Do geog till 12+ then i cant tahan le. Then next morning sianx have to do SS. haiis. hmmm then had a headache coz not enough sleep. haiis.

Then during ENG was fun lah! lolx got so many ideas of our ideal school! hmmm heex after school immediately rush for DNT! omg then after that had to go for phys MOCK test. lucky during sec3 i got practise much . So i can still recall a little sec3 work. hMmm then after that haiis rushed back to DNT. Stomach freaking pain. maybe coz ate to spicy de food yesterday. haiis.
Tried to finish as much as possible.
hMmm hope tomorrow can stay even late bahx really no time le. Still got folio to do!omG! hope other teacher will understands and not give so much test n work anymore. :( And for my maths MOCK test, surprisingly i got 46/74 OMG! i felt that its so difficult n i left some questions blank coz didnt had my construction set and i can still manage to pass! lolx. think is not tyco le bahx. Passed for the first and for the second. now this time not counted tyco le bahx? hMmm wanna finish my DNT fast so that i can concerntrate more on others le. hMm haiis then after that went home alone.

JIA YOU WEILUN!

2006-08-17T20:01:00.000+08:00

haiis kept having gastric these days. didnt really had the appetitte to eat anymore.
haiis kept falling unwell. Gonna fall sick soon? so pathetic having fever now le. haiis sad bahx? haiis cant lahx o lvl coming.
hmmm haiis same like everyday else everythign is still going against my way. When will the retribution that i get for not doing anything wrong stop?
I cant go on with my life. i will have to stop somewhere. end somewhere if this retribution is gonna go on. ya i'm weak i'm useless i'm hopeless.

HAIISSSSS . . .

MY LIFE ENDS HERE-

2006-08-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

ok another bad bad bad day . .
Like almost everyday isnt a good day to me . . Why ? wad is the wrong thing that i've done to kept on suffering from retribution? haiis.
Today during bla bla bla lesson was so ARG!
Mdm bla bla bla came to me and ask me where is my homework. At first thought she was looking for the worksheet then she ask me wheres my work then when i found it, she ask me " you only do qns A ? i give u one whole bloody week and u only do one question? wads wrong with you?! " WTF rite? got SOOOOOO many ppl no bring and hand in she don scold purposely pick on me. Donno why and know wad she say? she say ? she even said " till now and its still the same bloody old ppl who don wanna hand in homework " WTF again! I had always been handing in her work and this is the first time for the two months i didnt hand in her work. Can you think before u say or not? hate ppl who start scolding or accusing ppl before they think or make things right.
And what is all the " bloody ? shit class? Ass? hell? " thingy language from your mouth?
You want the class to scold **** then u satisfied? ARG! first thing in the morning mood spoilt by her.
Then in the afternoon during recess, ppl keep kbkb me for no fu**ing reason at there suan me. You think its funny but i don think so. Can u all think if u were the one, how would you feel?!
*&#*)&*)!@&#$%!
haiis. Then when going up the stairs, she was behine me, jk kbkb me just becoz i want him walk faster. Then jy shouted her name. Was already not in a good mood already and ppl's shouting will irritates me thats why i go mad after that.
Someone go shout so loud " wl jia ba ar "
Was so du lan, went to grabbed him and push him all the was into the class. knn. he tried to struggled but when i thought of wad he say i just push all the way into the back cupboard of our class room. He tried pushign me back ya but too bad i was damn freaking angry. Cant kick him too coz i know i was in the wrong too so don wanna hurt him too much.
Then he still dare to kbkb me. ( IF U WERE ME U CAN CALM DOWN MAHX?! EVERYDAY SAY ME NOT ENOUGH IS IT STILL WANNA SHOUT?! I BORN TO LET U ALL SAY ONE AR?! )
**** LAH!

Stupid ppl without common sense. Don be so selfish lahx only think for yourself. SPARE A THOUGHT FOR OTHERS CAN?!
ARG! then after school haiis don wanna say le lahx.
haiis.

[ What did i do wrong? Did i treat u all so bad till i deserve all this? What did i do to make u all hate me so much? Why cant u all understand? ]
If life is a torture then why must i be born into this world? to suffer?

2006-08-13T17:07:00.000+08:00

haiis . .

i thought i never had to be worried again anymore . those few days was really enjoyable which left unforgettable memories in my heart .Those days can make me forget about everything i wasnt happy about. haiis.
wad can i do now?

Images of you leaving me kept repeating in my mind,
Follow by the wild imagination i had.

Worries of you leaving arises.
Boundaries of sadness increases.
Wonders and thoughts of how i could keep u with me forever flashes through.
Nothing could ever discribes how worried i am.
Last of all, love from me will never ends.
haiis.

2006-08-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

hMmm today sucks siax. Arg today was so bored. Had 4periods of maths straight. arg. was doign graphs lahx. hMmmm then after that had recess bahx. Bought a honeydew and went to give her. see i so good rite? ^^
lalala. not like someone want watch tv then don care me le hump. >.<
Ok erm then we were fighting all the way lahx lolx when eating beehoon was fighting and kicking around. lolx.
Other ppl say we very cute siax. lolx. hMmmm our relationship getting better le siax. heex.
hMmmm very less quarrel le ^^ yay.
hMmm then after that receive our chinese o lvl result. I got a feelign that i would get below a B. in the end i really got a C5. LUCIFY --> LU-C5
hMmm then after that was kinda sad lahx coz thought through and realise that c5 was bad. Even B4 wasnt good enough. So i decided to retake. Anyway we'll be using the highest score instead so i wanan try one mroe time. hMmmm. Although its 100% pass but c5 n c6 wasnt good enough. :(

hMmm then after school went to look for her. Boys was crowding all over her :( hump!
*smell something*? kick u ar. hMmmm . erm then after that she went to change le then we go canteen eat lor. hMmmm she got one bad habit, always like to eat my food de. ^^ nvm share share mahx heex.
hMmm then went to DnT arg had to redo some things. hMmmm lolx. very funny siax hahax.
hmmmm then after DnT went to play soccer? hMm at the fitness corner there do kicking stuns.

then after taht had a play play fight with cheeping. Wtf siax say play play only le rite? you know wad he do? when i was doing my " lucifying kick?" ( thats wad he gave the name of that kick )
Then he pull my leg then i fell and landed on the groung with a loud tund!
WTF! i was blackout for a moment. was so pain lor. arg! then cant walk had to lie down n wait for her.
When she was release. She came to me. I thought she wouldnt care about me or would say " aiyox poor thing, lets go le lahx i wan go home le " ( thats wad she always says :( ) hMmm but to my surprise, she helped me clean my wound and put plaster for me. so sweet rite ^^
hMmmm disney land de plaster somemore. heex. then she help me carry my bag. First time she cared for me so much siax. was so happy n surprised! heex!
hmmm then she was holding me tight coz i cant walk properly. omg i love her so much! ^^ thanks D!
hMmm then when went home. i tried taking off my socks n i fell again. This time cant get up coz really very pain. was thinking if i die at home also no one knows. :( hMmm then after that my papa help me rub. OMG! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! so damn pain till i had to bite my hand! :'( D where are u.

[[ i'm a weak guy, don worry i will train hard. and come kick u to hell. ]]

2006-08-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

hMmmm yesterday was a great day.
Finally theres someday where i can put away all my worries aside.
At first meet up with da jie n her on bus then went to harbour front together.
haiis then aiyahx becoz of hp dething she angry then went to sit somewhere else. Then i had to sit alone for the whole journey lor. haiis so lonely.
Then after that when reach le they walk their way to harbourfront shopping centre then me had no choice but to follow way behind.
haiis.

Then when reach le they go walk walk around lor hMmm then after that ok le. was fighting all the way. lolx . hMmm . Then went to startbucks.
Then went off le lo .
Went to east coast there to play. Coz da jie say fireworks there very crowded so we didnt go le.
hMmm was a long way there bahx. We have to take MRT to bedok which we missed that station so have to go back lolx.
then after that had to take bus to east coast.
was shocked lahx when reached east coast. Everything had changed since the last time i went there which was like pri school?
Still remember when i was small my parents brought me there and when i was riding a bicycle a very big red ant fell from the tree and on my shoulder. I freak out and took off my shirt immediately. I remember theres a kind uncle help metake away the red ants on my shirt . thanks. ^^
Then i have to ride back all the way being naked. lolx. but of course got my pants on lahx wearing jeans somemore.
hMmm ok back to tomorrow.
We went there and she want me piggy bag her. Lolx she cant balance de siax . Keep shake here shake there. hMmm then after that we went to the sand there and find a place to sit.
i really think we should have went to sentosa instead.
If we didnt waste all the time at harbour front there deciding where to go.
hMmm sentosa would be more fun by then.

But nevermind lahx its also not bad.
Then da jie sat down and chatted on phone. So me n her went to the beac and play.
At first i don want my foot to be wet so i didnt take off my shoe coz she wanna walk in the water but the wave so big and made my shoe all wet. no choice had to take off. she was so happy still >.<".
Lolx then after that we went walking on the beach. Romantic bahx? lolx.
Then after that i carry her and walk . heex . She believe me thats why she would let me carry her ya. she once told me that she do ndare coz scared i dropped her. But now she always wants me to carry n piggy bag her le. ^^
heex. of course i die also wont drop her de lahx.
wont let her get injured. wei da bahx? hahax jkjk. hMmmm was like so tiring siax. lolx.
hMmmm nvm i go train more fit hahax jkjk.
hmmm then she like children siax want play sand castle >.<" . .
hMm lolx then i sat beside her lor. Dont even know how to build a proper one siax. Lolx. funny siax her.
Then she bury my leg in the sand. =(
hMmm when we continue playing at the beach till 8pm plus bahx. lolx.
hMmm then went home le. we were all so tired siax.
AND ONE MORE FUNNY THING!
In the MRT, she say no matter how she sleep still very uncomfortable de lehx. Then i put my hand there then she lie on it and fall asleep! omg my hand was very numb nehx.
hMmm then dare not move coz scared distueb till her.
Then my whole body had to be tilted to the left then everyone was looking at me. Lolx. omg feel like covering my face but i didnt bring jacket. hMmm then after that my turn to sleep on her. so comfortable too. but i only slepp for 3stations. she slept mof more then 10stations! not fair! don care i want sleep on her more. heex.

Then after that on the LRT haiis. then go home le.

[[ the sight of you melts my heart . . ]]

2006-08-07T18:43:00.000+08:00

hMmm today was nothing special lahx. hmmm but i'm happy know why?
Coz last week we had a maths mok exam. I didnt study for it and wasnt prepared for it.
So just went to have the test with a blank mind and the knowledge that i had from sec1 to 3 de maths.
And know wad? i passed!
WOOT!
miss leow gave a glow in the dark de stars to everyone who passed.
hMmm and for once i thought i would fail again. Coz miss leow was giving out the papers according to the higest mark to lowest.
And it was near to failing le so i think i gonna fail le.
But after that when she saw my paper, she said , " this student ar is also another surprise, from the beginning he had been making improvements and his improvements arent those little one. His improvements are those drastic improvement. " ( means improving very fast ) WOOTX! after she said that i know it was me le coz she always say i am improving alot. And in the end and surprisingly its really me! wootx!!
so happy!
hMmmm lalala.

hMmmm today after school went to do DnT. Progress a little. Now not much thing left for mu coursework le only left 40% to do then i'm done.
hMmm after that went to watch rehersal at hall. Then miss bla bla bla at there kbkb. wtf she jealous she no one love her is it? so rich for wad? rich also cant buy love. SIAO AR!
*#%&@*W#$#%&@#!!!

2006-08-05T21:06:00.000+08:00

Did i fractured my bones?
Or did it cracked?
Why so pain? haiis today went to Dnt and heard a crack sound..
Then i have to stone there cause very pain.
haiis then have to bare with it first. went to sit somewhere alone to rest coz very tired.

hMmm then after that went out with her and her cousin. so happy to see her again. weetx!
hMmmm but haiis.

[[ how to go on with my life . . ]]

2006-08-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

hMmmm let me talk about the motivational camp.
I donno is i hopeless or is the camp useless. Cause i'm not motivated. omg how? wad to do? die le lahx o lvl coming le!!!
hMmm first day ends at 7.30pm was so boring lahx all the talks . and we were introduced to our trainer. Every class has a different trainer. We had chrystella and shuxian(a boy not a girl) weird huh? nvm both of them are very good trainers.

They're very kind towards us they didnt vent anger on us and had a very good attitude. hMmm we did lotsa stuffs together. So fun lahx hMm then had captain's ball . Great games with all . Was a tiring day then watched movies lor . .
Then after that went home. So damn tired had to rush SS de holiday homework lor then slept late .
hMm the nest day went to play kicking with friends then kick till my leg de bones. haiis cant walk for a while. Then leg swollen like hell . sobx sobx so pain.
Then second day had frisby lor then after that watched movia again .
Third day which is today! WAS SO DAMN FUN!
in the mornign same lahx with all the talks. sianx. then kept rushing to finish my phoenix drawing . omg drawn for so long. Then in the afternoon finally finish le then practise for our performance was so enjoyable lahx but everyone was so damn tired.
hmmmmm haiisthen was just fun lahx but haiis no mood to post le lahx.

I know i've made a mistake.
i know i'm wrong.
If i were to turn back time,
i will not do that.

haiis. saw her eyes felt with tears i wish i could hug her and let her cry.
But i know i cant.
I regretted wad i've done.
I know you wont believe me but i really wont do it again.
I choose to write it her so that everyone would know
that i'm wrong.
How i wish i can turn back time.

you can choose to not love me,
but wadever happens , you're the one and only in my heart.
Last of all . .
I LOVE YOU xj.

2006-07-31T18:17:00.000+08:00

haiis today wad a totally sucks days lahx.
dOnno wad to write and don feel like writing . .

SO MUCH THINGS AND QUESTION KEPT WITH ME WHICH I DARE NOT ASK .
wad should i do?
i'm just worried.
i'm just afraid.
i'm just scared.
is this wrong?

Then wads right?
haiis . . .

2006-07-29T11:50:00.000+08:00

I'M SO TIRED OF LIVING!
MY LIFE JUST TOTALLY SUCKS LIKE HELL!

DID SO MUCH AND PAID OUT SO MUCH BUT GOT NOTHING IN THE END!
I HATE MY LIFE!

2006-07-28T19:16:00.000+08:00

hMmm today was also another bad day . .
haiis . . early in the mood already not very good le . .
haiis . . Then when at parade square mr bla bla bla
came to me again! arg ! He came to me and ask me whether i cut my hair already or not then ireplied " cut already le lahx ! " then he saw my fringe t hen he ask me go cut again then he took my EZ link card wtf ok?!
Thats not the main point . . He went around warning ppl about their hair! WTH! then he confiscate mine instead of warning me?!
Why is he picking on me?! i also no do anything wrong to him! Plus last time i still very friendly to him one!
**** one lor . .
SIAO AR!
WANT ME CUT MY HAIR UNTIL YOU LIKE THAT MEHX?! I CUT SOMEMORE I NO HAIR ALREADY LE LAHX! NOW ONLY SEC SCH NOT N.S OK!
arg . . My whole day de mood was spoilt by him!
Arg!

hMmm then was totally fucked up lahx ppl still kept saying me . . damns my mood even more!
Durign POA was drawing lahx coz nothing to do . . haiis without my phone life is so bored . .
I NEED MY PHONE!
After school had to go collect my ez-link card then he complaints that my fingernails are too long ARG!
ARG! then after that mr poon came and talk to me . . HE'S SO DAMN NICE OK? he talk to me nicely and asked me to know wad to do . . Omg if the whole school is filled with all teacher like mr poon, i'll be so damn freaking happy . . hMmmm . .
Thanks mr poon . . ^^ i'll always respect ya . .

then after that went for DnT woot done quite alot at least i finished my retrot . . hMmm . .
hmmMm had DnT till 5pm then waited for her for her guides to end at about 6pm then after that her mum came and fetch her instead . . Haiis had to go home instead . . Cant blame her too coz not wad she wanted too . . hMm haiis nvm lahx . . .

wad a day . . headache *
thanks for dropping by and view my blog . .
^^

2006-07-26T18:05:00.000+08:00

wAd a horrible day i have . . Arg! was a bad bad bad day . .
was totally so fucked up . .
Today morning still ok ok lahx when after the national anthem, mr bla bla bla ask us to stay back and he wanna talk to us . .
Arg u know wad? he asked us why did u all skipped yesterday's chem remedial ? wth we went to cut our hair thats why. And know wad he say?! He say who ask u all skipped lesson and went for haircut?!
Was so unreasonable lor . . Whatever lahx although he told us that after school go cut but he also no say after school wad time so also cant blame him . .
Arg then one more thing. HE SAY MY HAIR NOT UP TO STANDARD!
WTH! I CUT SLOPE OK! NO SIDEBURN! NOT UP TO STANDARD?! u want bluff who?!
Early in the morning my mood was totally being damned by him . . At first he was a very good person . . everyone said that he had changed, changed to being reasonable and would give mroe chance but wth now he went back like last time! SUCKS!
Want me cut my hair till like him mehx? i rather go die!

Then after that had mother tongue lahx was smsing everyone who i think would have wax or wad de lahx . . but jonathan most steady siax . . he helped me by smsing everyone of his contact and see who have . . LOLX! THIS IS WAD I CALL FRIEND!
hmmm then after that thought he cant find so sms debbie and she has so after mother tongue went to take from her and spent 20mins in the toilet combing.
Arg i donno how to use wax coz i never use it before. only used gel and hairspray . . hMmm aftehr that jonathan came down the toilet and ass me the hair spray. WOOT! my savior . . heex then after that went to recess . . Arg only left 5 min and was later for lesson. Was eating ALONE in the canteen . sad siax . . mr poon came and chat with me a while too . .
He was someone understanding and reasonable i found in this school . .
He was very good ya . .
hMmmm then after that just nice coz when i reached class geog teacher just came . . Lolx . . hmmm then after geog had five periods of free periods.
And something happened! ARG!
I was still at first happily chatting with jinyou they all and after that when one period passed by, i went to take my homework and do and when i went back my chair was gone.
I wasnt angry at first coz if u want at least ask first mahx wtf rite?!
Then you know wad he say? " please lahx WL i don have a chair ".
And wad makes him think that after taking my chair i will have a chair for myself too . .
And for the left over 2hrs i have to squad and sit on the floor!
WTF like as if wad i do wrong like that . .
Then after that was irritated lahx . . Everyday say me say me . . u all will think very fun , funny lahx but wad about me?! You think i very happy ar? Everyone has their limits ok! AND I'VE REACHED MINE! I have beared with it for almost one whole year already and can u all stop?! ITS NOT FUNNY AT ALL! and i remembered once was so taotally fucked up . . Got a person tell me that " WL, entertain us lehx i very bored"
Wtf lahx i'm not ur source of entertainment lahx so wad for let u all say?! i wont get anything good in the end except being irritated . . BORED HUH?! go say other ppl lahx why say me?! FROM NOW ON! I WILL IGNORE WHOEVER WHO SAY ME! NO MORE FRIENDLY GUY!
YOU ALL WILL ONLY TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!

WHEN U ALL WANT SAY OR DO THINGS DO CONSIDER OTHER PPL'S FEELINGS FIRST!

DON ALWAYS THINK FOR YOUR OWN SELF! DON BE SELFISH!
i know i cant say all this out that s why i would post it here.
If i say it all out, they'll confirm at there say ya la ya la cannot take jokes. a little thing then so angry. etc.
Then for the whole day i was keeping everything to myself! So damn fucked up . . about the chair thing. I didnt really tell anyone coz if i tell, ppl will at there think wa lao only a chair only need to angry until like that . . petty guy . .

This freaking world is so unfair . . Everytime when i talk or say something i would always consider other ppl's feelings or wad coz i don wan other ppl to feel hurt by wad i say.
I've always trying to be good to everyone and this is wad i get in the end?!
F*** lahx!
FROM NOW ON! who ever treats me good i will treat them good back and whoever dont i wont!
I'VE REACHED MY LIMITS!
I'm beginning to hate everyone of you . .

[[ don always think for yourself.don be selfish think for others too! not only you but all people have feelings too ]]

2006-07-25T19:04:00.000+08:00

I'M SO BEING ACCUSED!
arg . . don wanna continue to post le lahx . .

just when i wanna love u back the way i love u last time.
just when i wanna hold u tight the way i used to last time.
just when i wanna treat u so sweetly and lovingly like i used to be.
just when i wanna love u so MUCH!
something just crop up . . haiis . .

i'm touch by wad she did for me.
i'm glad that she spent the effort to do it.
i'm so happy that she is willingly to do things for me.
haiis but she misunderstood me . .
sobx sobx . .

2006-07-21T16:35:00.000+08:00

hMmm haiis today nothing special lahx was so bored lahx!
in the morning she came to school ya and her parents was staring at me . . haiis . like i did something wrong like that . .
haiis . .

Then after that went to look for her hmmm then she was tired ya . . after that she left and went home . . haiis everyone was wearing ethenice clothings ya . . Junkai was asking me to wear lolx i don wan coz i don like wearing green clothes. i only like to wear pink, white and black . .
hMm then after that had lessons as usual lahx . . hMmm . . Then was bored lahx! BORED!
haiis . . hMmm then wad feelign very tired too! haiis . . was so sad too about wad happened yesterday haiis . . hmMm taken lots of photos ya during english . . See other ppl keep taking photos till so happy. haiis earlier on if i know i also go wear hahax but no one will wanna take with me de lahx . . hMmm then after school went to look for mdm masrena for my chem thing! woot! at least i understand a little le! yay!

hMmm wish i could buck up now . .
haiis yesterday nigt didnt sleep again ya haiis . . Felt so innocent . .
Like as if the whole world kept accusing me of doing wrong things . . haiis i've already tried being a good person le why else do u all want? Yesterday night was so full then wanna rest a while only then mum kepy kbkb say i no study! wtf cant u see i'm so freaking full!
Then that teacher also accuse me . .
The people also accuse me! arg!
Dont take me for granted ya! treat u all nice don want!
haiis . .
wish somehow someone would understands how i feel . . .

haiis now wad i'm worried was her mum don like me! ahhhh!!! say i look not guai guai . . arg if i know today i gonna saw them then i tuck in uniform and comb nerd hair ar . . why u all don like me? i didnt neglect ur daughter hor . . .
haiis . .

[[ people in the world starting to hate me. Is there something that i've done wrong? ]]

2006-07-20T19:12:00.000+08:00

hMmm today was SucH a pIssed off day . . aRg!

mOrning still the same lahx . . heex saw her i'm so happy!
hmmm then after that talk all the way till 7.40 lor as usual lahx . . hMmm then when lessons starts i was like omg so freaking tired! First three lessons was maths . . OMG! need to think so much! arg . . nvm i fell asleep sometimes . . hMm then after that miss leow gave us a 10min break. she say those who wan go toilet go don wan wan sleep can sleep.
lolx of course i choose to sleep lahx . . ONly one minute and i fell asleep!
after that yu xiang n chenghao was trying to wake me up. hMmm after sometime finally i was awake was so tired! Miss leow was so shocked siax . . say only a few minutes can fell asleep liao . . Lolx . .

hMmm then after that was POA! F*$% siax!
I always used to stay in class and sleep or not then do homework de mahx also no talk much.
Then i was like planning to do my geog homework le plus i was sitting alone mahx then that teacher ask me to get out of the class! WTF!
I DIDNT TALK OR DO ANYTHING WRONG OK!
then i was like don wanna go out then weixian also mahx. Then she threaten say wad i don leave she don start. WTF lor i'm not the only one staying in the class ok! then she and the class was like pushing all the blames to me lahx! NOT FAIR LAH F*%$!
Then jinyou ask me don go ignore her . . Then after that she at there kbkb then say that if i don get out she leave!
WTF THE WHOLE CLASS WAS LOOKING AT ME!
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE STAYING OK! was so freaking fuck up! I know i'm in the wrong but wad for? i didnt even talk or wad OK! AND DON PUSH ALL THE BLAMES TO ME!
ARG! then went down to the ramp there and do homework with others. *%$#@*&!@$!@#$#%!!!!!

hMmm then after that went for recess lahx! arg! haiis ate so little so hungry! hmmmm then after that had PE. lolx was so funny and boring?
hMmm me n yuxiang was playing around lahx . . lolx . . hMmm then had SS arg! then GEOG! lolx geog was so funny when the teacher told us about the shoe thing.
hMmmm then yay end of school!
hMmm then had my maths mok exam. hmmmm i didnt study for it ya but i find the paper damn easy! First time ever i only got two questions left blank in the whole paper.
hmmm then after that went to BB court! hmmm played bb with my friends ya . . Woot so fun so long no play BB le . . hMmmm yay we kept winning! heex! hmmmm then she came see me play a while heex!
hMmm then after that went home with her . . Poor her having headache . . hMmm then after that don feel like going home so i sat alone at a staircase resting . . .

hMmmm end of the day!
thanks for dropping by^^

2006-07-17T23:00:00.000+08:00

hMmmmm haiis i'm so sad so sad so sad . .
Yesterday night didnt sleep , cried the whole night . . haiis . . No mood to do anything . . Went to the play ground again . .
hMmmm haiis i was at the playground till morning 4am . .
haiis . .
I was thinking of things ya . . Went through the photos we took together . . Really love some photos of her very much . . But haiis . .

hMmm haiis just wish we can go back to the older times . . where no problems and not much of obstacles that we have to go through . .
haiis . . was crying crying crying . . Endless memories and thoughts just flashes through my mind . . I really misses those times alot . . I yearn to go back to the past where happiness are found . . haiis. .
Those times that we went to swensens , seoul garden etc. Remember theres once when we went to swensens at yishun, we ate pizza ya then she know i don like to eat some vegetables on the pizza and she helped me to picked out some . . awwwww so sweet right?

hMmm then after eating still will help me wipe my mouth . . haiis . . When watching movie, we always took coupl seats ya . . hMmmm theres so much things we've done that is so sweet . . haiis . hMmmm oh ya and remember the most touching time i ever was is that time when i lost my phone w800i . .
I didnt called the taxi company coz donno why just don wish to call but she helped me asked ya . . I was so touched till i wanna go hug her so much!
And theres once when i saw a billabong wallet , i only say wa so nice. I don wanna buy it coz i know billabong thing sure very exp. But who knows she went to buy it! I was so touched!
For that time i was always thinking that omg wad a perfect couple we are . . We don usually quarrel over small matters or wad ya . . That time when we got prob. or the other party was happy or angry . . We'll cheer each other up . .
Finally got a person who loves, cares and dotes on me so much ya . .
Was so lucky and happy . .
no need for me to be alone .
no need for me to worry that no one will cheer e up when i'm sad.
no need for me to worry that no one will be there for me.
no need for me to worry about so much things . .
I CAN SAY I REALLY LOVE HER .

hMmmm we always chatted on phone and sms everyday making us like sticking to each other every second . . So warmth and sweet bahx?
Last time i always thinks that otehr people always envy us for being so sweet together . . But i never had thought that all these would happened . . And in fact its my turn to envy others instead . .
haiis . .
I donno wad to do anymore . . ever felt till so helpless before . . Will we return back to the past like the way we were before? I donno . . maybe . . .
haiis . .

hMmmm haiis nowdays so much probs came. Its our obstacles ya . .
but but haiis . .
Now we're not like the past anymore . .
I really donno wad went wrong . .
Can anyone tell me ? . . .
haiis . .

TOday was a sucky day bahx . . In the morning waited for her call. As expected i knew she wont call me . . then i went to left my bag in class . .
Was wondering should i go look for her or not . . But in the end i still choose to look for her . . I went up ya . .
Stood behind her . . Looking at her back view . . Started thinking about the past. haiis. was so tired too.
hMmmm haiis then she was like asking fongcheng to ask me things?
haiis . . For that instance i thought she don wanna care about me anymore . . But to my surprise . . She concerned about me ya . . Although i didnt showed it out but i'm happy that she cared for me . .
But in the end she put the ring in my pocket. i was like omg! control control!
hMmm then went to e5 arg something freak me out. then after that haiis . .

Hmmmm . . Then after that smsed ya . . hMmmm . . haiis then donno le lahx . . hMm then during DnT finally started talking to my friends le ya . . Kept quiet for the whole entire day . .
hMmm then while cutting DnT things was thinking of something else lahx then shit! cut my hand . . But donno why not pain . . haiis then i also don care le lahx continue doing . .
hMmmm haiis . .

Went to find my friends ya then saw her at the ramp there . . LOLX! was like so funny lor . . i donno she was just a few centimeters away from me only and i smsed her . . hahax!
hMmm then donno why when saw her so happy . . smiled!
heex . . hMmm then after that went off with friends. Didnt really bear to leave her ya . .
hMmm then after that went back to school to fetch her . . hMmmm haiis sometimes wad she said would hurt me. Although i donno whether its real or is it just joking . .
haiis . . Then sent her home ya . . then aiyah also nothing special . . haiis . . .

I WANNA GET BACK TO THE PAST! WHERE NO PROBS ARE THERE!

[ haiis u never know, sometimes during lessons i went to toilet to just cry haiis . . ]

hUrTfUl dAy . .

2006-07-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

haiis . . it all started normally . .
but ended instantly . .

During my lessons in class . . I donno why i just went crazy . . And not that kinda normal crazy is extremely crazy . . I laugh , i angry , i shout ..
Anyone talks to me i shout bahx . Andone li siao me i beat that person . . Was just so freaking crazy . .
SiaO bAhx?
hAiis . . I was so mad . . Was so freaked out by one of my friend which kept saying me siao . . Was so irritating . . Bought lots of food to stuff myself . . All my friends today was so afraid of me and even some are shocked by the way i behaved . .
haiis . . After POA when i went back to class . .
Junkai they all came to me and talk to me . . Joel came to say sorry to me coz he kept saying me siao . . Felt so guilty . .
I never know they were so good and concern about me . . They talked alot to me . .

haiis . . After school had maths remedial . . was waiting for her lesson to end . . how i know its her mother tongue . . I was trying to avoid walking pass during her mother tongue lessons . . haiis . . .
All the things had changed . . changed so much . . haiis . .
hMm then after her guides , acc her home . . haiis somethings is bothering me over thats why kept thinking about it . .
She was angry after that . . haiis i knew wad would happen next . . She alwas say she wont leave me or wad , btu i know when she's angry or wad, it all were just meant nothing . .
Haiis same thing happened . . This time is different . . haiis . .
If she thinks she didnt treat me well, so why cant she tries to treat me well? If she thinks that theres problem, why cant we solve it?
haiis i understand her everything except i don understand her thoughts . .
why must leaving be the solution to all problems?
Hadnt i treat her well enough to make her cherish me? or wad? haiis . . she don understand me ya . . Sobx sobx . .
hope one day she'll finally understands wad i mean by saying solving problem instead of leaving bahx . . haiis . . Just love the time when we're together . . always so sweet . .
sobx sobx . .
Hope she'll be back to me someday . . haiis . . with the right thinking . .
i'm truely disappointed . .

sobx sobx sobx sobx sobx . .
Although thats wad u want. But whenever u need someone, i'll be the one . . whenever u want anyone, i may not be the one but i will fight for it . . whenever u needs me ? i'll still be there for you . .
I will still love u . . .
SOBX SOBX!

2006-07-13T19:24:00.000+08:00

I'M sO hUrTx . .

ITS ANOTHER TIME THAT I FEEL LIKE CRYING!
YOU HURT ME SO MUCH . .
WHY DO THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

I HATE U TREATING ME LIKE THIS!
AHHHHHHH!!!
WHY DO I NEED U SO MUCH?!

[[ how i wish you understands how i feel . . how i wish u would think right . . how i wish . . . . . . you'll never leave me . . . ]]

2006-07-08T14:24:00.000+08:00

hMmm haiis had been having stomach aches for more than a week le . . My friends kept asking me why i keep having stomach ache? And junkai they all says that i almost had it for more than one week le . .
I donno why but it just hurts alot and affects my studying mood alot . .
When i'm sick i cant find the concentration to study properly . . haiis . .
Now i've got the fear and wanna start working on le but now its the sickness thats pulling me back . .

Planned to study yesterday nigth but also donno why my fever came back . . haiis then today morning also . . whole body so warm . . haiis wad is all this signs of sickness meant for? Is all this sickness a warning or something? hMmm haiis . . I now really wanna work hard for my O's le SO PLEASE FUCK OFF THE SICKNESS!
Yesterday in class was in terrible pain . . Even yuxiang was shocked to the paleness of my face . .
At first i thought my favorite teacher ( don wanna say who, don wish to have misunderstandings ) w0uld be concern about me and will come ask me if i need go sick bay or wad but it happens in another way round . .
She shouted across the class and said " WEILUN! if u're really dying or wad then go to the toilet! why everytime during me lesson you're always feels like dying! "
HATES PPL WHO DON UNDERSTANDS AND THINK!
What for i wanna pretend or wad? I'm in great pain cant u see from my face!!? You think i wanted it ya? You think i love to be in pain ya? you think i love to die? You think i'm doing it just for an act?
*$@#!%*!
I have been having the pain since morning for your information and not only during ur lessons . . And i had been having it for more than a week and not only yesterday!
Don believe can ask THE CLASS!
You totally disappoints me so much . . For once u told me that " weilun, other teachers had been saying that u are not handing in homework and not paying attention and disrupting the lessons , but i cant believe them weilun. Cause u've been so quiet and good during my lessons and i cant believe wad they've said. To me i even think that u're the best boy in the class "
Ya like real . . and for once i thought u were the best teacher and the only teacher who knows the most things about me or understands me . . You totally disappoints me . . .
You've changed my impression for you . . i'm disappointed . .

Yesterday after school went home . . haiis my stomach was really hurting very badly lahx . . haiis . . Then after that ah pek called me and told me that they're going out later . . I thought for a second and then remembered that i have to start studying so at first i thought that nvm lahx study at home bahx . . But after that i thought that since i've been having so much stress, why not go out and relax for a while . .
So i went out . . hMmmm watched the movie recycle . . ITS DAMN FREAKING SCARY!
hMmmm was kanna scared alot of times and nelson kept saying that infront of him got two tall ppl kept jumping . . Cause joey and me was infrotn of him and the movie is really scary siax . .
hMmm but afterall its a nice story becoz was kinda touching too . . I love touching movies ya . . hMmm then in the middle of the show joey went to toilet and when he came back he sat somewhere else . . Leaving me alone . . OMG! wtf siax . . For the whole movie throughout i was alone . . left side was an empty seat and right was a couple . . haiis . . nvm then waited for her sms . .
hMmm haiis . . After the movie went to arcade!
Felt so refresh and destressed after that then they decided to go home le . . hMmmm she called me ya , was so happy ^^
Haiis was feeling so uncomfortable . . Kept feel like vomiting . . haiis but like no one cares about it . . hMmm tries to catch a taxi but arg so freaking fuck up! Got a person kept running infront of us to catch a taxi although we were standing there first . . When we went infront of him ten he run in front of us again . . Such an annoying person! thick skinned . .

hMmm then no choice took MRT home instead . . Omg feelign so damn bad . . So sick on the mrt also . . When i fell asleep on the sofa at home . . i was biting mt tongue all along . .till when i woke up i found my mouth was filled with blood . .
Also donno why i would bite my tongue . . Was so pain lahx . . haiis why is heaven torturing me ?
haiis . . Lucky my tongue recovers already . . haiis was so scary when i looked into the mirror with my mouth filled with blood . . haiis . .

My day just ends like this . .

[[ i didnt need much , i only wished that u could be by me always and forever ]]

2006-07-04T19:42:00.000+08:00

hMmm today morning went to school lahx although i was sick . . haiis previous night my temperature wad 38.3degrees! omg . . And now my stomach was feeling so unwell . . .
Haiis why so many sickness? wad does all these sickness meant? hMmm haiis . . Was a bit dizzy in school lahx . . But no body knows . . haiis . .

Went to look for her in her class as usual . . hMmm feeling so feverish lahx . . haiis . . hMmm then when bell rings went to parade square lahx . . hMmmm got some ppl say my bag gay siax . . Coz got pink colour . . But got alot say nice heex . .
hMmm was so tired and sick and yet i cant sleep . . haiis . . Nothing much lahx wasnt at the same recess with her . . haiis sad lahx cant see her . .
hmmmm . . Then recess was like forcign myself to eat such a big bowl of noodles . .
hMmmm then after that went back to class . . Felt like vomiting so much . . And lessons starts . . Scared later vomit in class so paiseh . . Finally couldnt take it . . went to toilet . . Lucky i went to toilet just in time . . Vomited out the bowl of noodles i ate . . at that point of time was thinking of her . . wish she was beside me . . But imossible coz she's having lesson . . Lucky that time no one went in the toilet siax . . Vomit till so loud . . Felt so sick . . Arg . . sat on the toilet bowl and have a rest for a while . .

haiis went back to class . . Then stomach pain . . Wtf is this . . combo ar? one after another . . haiis . . Have to bear with it lahx . . Stupid miss leow . . still scold me . . say wad " weilun ar , you want sleep u go outside sleep if u don want study then go out and if you sick then go see doctor " wtf! IF I CAN GO SEE DOC I LONG AGO GO SEE LE STILL NEED U TELL ME MEHX?! nabei . . haiis sad life siax . .
hMmm then after school went to find her ya . . she wasnt happy ya hurts me to see her with a sad face . . Donno how to cheer her up when her friends were around . . especially her that friend was around too . . arg . . haiis . . went to look for weixiong and nelson . . zhaoyang had prob. outside so Ong and others went to help ya . . so see weixiogn n nelson was there also so i went to acc them mahx . .

hMmmm was quite a big group lahx . . hMmm then went somewhere else . . then after that cy , nel , wx , kd , Ab and me went to greenridge first lahx . . hMmm then after that things happened . . haiis then zh came to look for us then went to KFC . . forgotted that i'm sick and still i went to ate KFC . . haiis from tml onwards must really control le . . no more fried food and more veges and fruits . . wish i can live as long as i could to stay with her whenever she needs me . .
hMmmm then after that went to look for her . . so happy to see her again ya?
hMmm when reached home , sat there and think through . . Then i realise how much i love her . . I don mind she hates me . . i don mind wadever she do to me . . I just know i wanna be the one to help her ans stay with her whenever she needs me . . i know how it feels like when you needed someoen and she/he isnt there for u . . nO matters how much she hates me , I'll still and always love her as much . . Thats a promise made by me . .

[[ i love you so much ]]

2006-06-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

hmmm haiis had been lossing so much of appetitte . . one day now the most only ate oen bowl of noodles thats all . .
Or some currypuffs . . Or wad . .
Cant open my appetitte anymore . . haiis . .

Today had four periods of maths in a row . . Sofucked up lor . . my stomach hurts like hell . . And i want go toilet . . Then miss leow don let me go . . Wtf siax . . she say if i want go then leave my handphone behind . . WTF LOR! go everywhere of course i will have my valuables with me lahx! She ask me to leave it in class if not let other ppl take care of it . . I said don want . . then she ask me you don believe your friends ar?
I said i don believe anyone . . (except her *said in my heart*)
I never leave my phone in anyone's care except her . . I never let anyone held my phone more than 10mins except her . .

hMmm then wtf she don understand siax . . was so freaking angtry . . feel like shouting back to her " YOU NEVER LOST UR VALUABLES OF COURSE YOU WONT CARE LAHX! IF U WERE WANTING TO GO TOILET AND I ASK U TO LEAVE UR HP IN THE CLASS ON UR TABLE WILL YOU WANT?!" %#@%$!
she said " no one would have the time to go take ur phone one . . . "
wtf you put a phone on the floor who see le wont go take . . na bei lahx . . Talk without any sense . . Still everytime say wad logic logic logical . . You don even have common sense . . Wad for i go toilet to sms or make a call . . Everyone's having lessons now . . Cant you see i'm in damn freaking hell pain?!

You think wad?! Don believe can put a camera on me and check lahx ! na bei . . So fucked up . . Was so freaking pain lahx . . kept putting on medical oil like no effect lor . . haiis . . kept trying to withstand the pain . . Then she kept coming to me " you're still stuck at this question , you're very slow etc. " WTF! CANT YOU SEE I'M IN PAIN?!
I rather i die or wad then don want you pity me!

went for recess after that . . freaking pain just couldnt stop . . had a little food . . she came to look for me ya . . was delighted to saw her . . She came to me calling " dardar wad happen?"
So sweet can? At least there's someone who cares about me . . hMmm haiis . . then went back to class . .
after school lo . . acc her for a while then she went for her guides le . . went to chat with junlong they all . . chatted about phone de thing lahx . . hMmm haiis i don know anything only know phone de thing . . haiis . .

then went for Dnt . . Did progress a bit lahx . . hMmm then after that played soccer . . woot . . i don like soccer but just like to kick it . . cause i could vent my anger or wad by kicking it hard . . Would always go crazy playing soccer coz i would always kick so hard . .still remember primary school when i play soccer . . I kick very hard and hit till one boy then his specs broke into half and made his face scracted ya . . Till now still feel so guilty about it . .

hmmmm then went home with her le . . Enjoy the hugs gave by her . . although its only a few seconds but its warm ya . . Coz i need someone to be by me . .

THE END-
hope you get the right thinking someday . . Don let wad others think or say about you become the reality . .
Trust me i love the way u are my dear . .

2006-06-29T19:48:00.000+08:00

hmMmm today went to school in the morning donno why halfway to school stomach pain again . . Had been having stomach ache for days again . . haiis my intestines are so weak . . And yesterday night had slight fever too . . And during after noon today, my fever came back . . Was feeling so uncomfortable . . haiis . . . haiis . . Then today during the national anthem donno why feeling so dizzy . . Lost my balance and nearly fell . . My whole face was so pale . . haiis lucky i got back my consciousness and got back my balance . .

hMmm on the way back to class was feeling dizzy again . . Omg . . then during lesson . . My stomach was so damn pain till i had no choice but to go toilet . . Miss kuek at first wanted to ask yuxiang go see if i fell asleep in the toilet . . But i wasnt . . My stoamch was so pain till i cant even leave the toilet . . haiis went to sick bay.

During recess know i was the same recess as her . . Thats why went for recess too . . The pain was so unbearable lahx . . Bought a honeydew and hope it could replenish my stomach a while . . But think it got worst? haiis . . Was so touched . . Coz i never knew jinyou and chenghao they all were concern about me . . Kept asking me go home rest instead . . Thanks guys . .
Then after that she came to look for me ya . . hMm then she go back to her class le . . haiis . .
Then after that started to feel feverish le bahx . . Went to toilet and rest a while . . hmmm then had POA free period . . But i used it to do English de homework . . guai bahx?
hMm then after that had Mother tongue . . Didnt listen lahx was slacking away . . mother tongue was the period when i forgotten all about me pain . . Know why? seriousl i also donno why . . Find it weird though . .
hmmm then had SS lahx . . didnt do the work . . whole class finished accept me . . haiis . . Then waited for her . .

Felt a bit guilty for not doing SS thats why stayed in my class alone and do . . hMmmm totally forgotted how to do SS le . . die liao lahx . . haiis . .
hMmm then after that went walk walk in school and saw joel they all playing soccer . . so I also go kick kick a while lor . . Lolx so many ppl was so surprise that i go play soccer . . All asked " aaa weilun, when u started playing soccer de? i thought u play bb one?"
hMmm after that when she finishes . . Went home together with her . . Haiis tried to talk to her but she remained silent for so long . . also donno why . . haiis . . hMmm then after that finally made her talk le lahx . . hMmm then on the way home was . . haiis . . But the hug we had in the lift at her house was warmth lahx . . I like that hug . .
maybe thats the time when i most needed someone to be by me bahx . .
haiis . . Then went home le . .

Sat alone under a void deck doing nothing . . Nowdays like to wonder around le also donno why . . haiis. . .

2006-06-27T19:17:00.000+08:00

hMmmm in just a blink of an eye . . . Its three months le . . ^^
today is 27.06.06 our third month! heex . .
Yesterday she gave me something ya . . WAS SO SURPRISE AND HAPPY! first time she's doing something for me ya . . Was glad . . hmMmm really like the thing she did for me . . Its all her love in the bottle! ^^

hMmmm haiis now wad i'm worried about is that if another problem comes , then thats it . . haiis i really wish could be with her for life ya . .
hmmmm had a great day with her . . hMmm today aiyah was like hell siax stomach ache the whole day . . Wth lor . . today nothing special in the school lahx hmmm was so tired again everyday . . think i need to sleep early le bahx . . haiis . . hMmmm i don want to be so tired siax make till me can pay attention . . nvm i will try to sleep early! no mroe tv for me! hMmmmm then arg after having maths for three periods, my stomach pain like hell siax . . went to toilet for 30mins arg . . Pain till cant leave the toilet haiis . . wish she was there for me . .

hMmm then went ack and have recess . . hMmm had alot of food ya . . haiis hMm then after that was two periods of POA. . slacked lahx of coz . . Coz i drop that subject mahx . . hMmm then went for DNT . . hmmm then after that is after school le . . hmmm waited for her coz her class tingy kanna detain . . hMmmm then went walking around then received her call then we went off le . . heex ^^ nice day!

2006-06-24T17:37:00.000+08:00

hMmm woooo today is my cousin's wedding!
lalala happy for her . . hmmm she was happy too siax keep seeing her smile . .

hMmm woke up early in the morning siax arg . . to go to aunt house and prepare for the wedding thingy . . hMmmmm went there sp many ppl saw me was shock . .hahax got alot auntie and uncle saw me le will say , " wa last time so small only now taller than me le ar " lolx . . coz they long time no see me le . . If not forgotten is when i'm in primary school bahx . . coz they live in malaysia and i used to visit them de . .

hMmm then my cousin's friends will come to me and say , " wa now so tall and shuai le worx . . " ops! hahax so happy . . lolx jkjk . . hMmm they also long time no see me le . . The last time they saw me was also when i was young . . Coz that period of time they keep going to my aunt's house to look for my cousin mahx . . hMmm . . All ppl was so shock to see me lahx lolx . . hMmmm then my aunt come ask me , " why everyone look so happy and smiling away only u didnt smile and face so glum?"
hMmm hahax haiis donno siax . . hMmm then set off to british's club, where my cousin held her wedding there . .
Reached there . . WAO! there must be rich ppl go de place coz at the carpark there saw so many expensive cars . . Not only talking about BMW, but also ferrari and lambogini . . WOOT!

hMmmm reached there and proceed to 3 floor where the roof top is and my cousinhad thier ROM there . . hMmmm was taking pics with my cousins . . not i want de is they force me to take de . . hahax . . hMmm then went down to the arcade there . . played some then off to the ROM thingy le . . Everyone sat at their own seats and wait for the bride . . hMmm my cousin was pretty ya . . Like wad others always says " wedding is when the girl is the most prettiest in her life " . . i agreed ya . .
Was so envy can . . hMmm then everyone saw her and her bf there . .
Then the person will asked , " steve leung, are you willingly to take ivy goh as your wife and be faithful to her and take good care of her for your life time no matters wad sickness ? " her bf will say " i do " . . Then that person will sak again , " Ivy goh, are you willing to marry steve leung and be a good and understanding wife and take good care of him?" my cousin will say " i do " . .

Then that person will say " ok now i proud to anounce that you two are now husband and wife "
Then that person will ask my cousin and her bf erm no should be her husband le, ya he ask them to exchange rings and hold their left hands together and made a swear . .
That person say " repeat after me , i swear to take good care of you, forever and for our life time till the day we left . . . etc . ."
then they repeat after him . . awww so sweet rite? haiis . . hMmmm then they kissed! AHHH!
hmmm then had to take lots of family photos again . . heex . . took so much photos today . .
hMmm then proceed to the 2nd floor to have the wedding started . . Hahax my cousin asked me to draw pics on her guest book . . hMmm of course i'm willing to lahx . . Heex i've drawn a pic of marriage before thats why at least i knew how to . . hMmm started to just sketch coz there are many food waiting for me! but haiis have no appetitte . . hMmmm i drawn a full page pic of marriage for her . . hope she likes it . .
hMmm then when the wedding starts , they will show on a screen pictures of them since young till now . . And also pics of how they first met and get together . . awwww so sweet ok! haiis . . hMmm after the slide show they cut cakes together . . hMm then we were off to our food . . Didnt really had much appetitte so only ate a little . . ARG! no sharkfin soup for me!!!! ahhhh! hmmm then after that they went around taking pics with relatives . . Haiis so envy them . . Wish i would have a better marriage than them in future . . only wants to be with her . .

hMmm then after that went to fetch her after her camp . . WTF siax my papa not in a good mood then scold me in front of so many ppl . . So embarrassing lor! arg! *%@#$!
hMmmm when reached, called her then she came out . . heex so happy to see her once again . . hMmm lalala she don wanna go home so early so we hang around taking LRT here and there then finally stop at senja . . hMmmm lalala so happy being with her . . Then after that go home le . .

haiis . . wad a wonderful couple in the marriage . .

2006-06-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

haiis . . wad to do now?
I really wish i could get her back . .
I cant live without her . . don say i will get used to it one day . .
I need her . . don say there are ohers who i can be with too . .
I only love her . . don say don be silly out there are more ppl better than me . .
I will wait . . don say don waste ur time on me . .
I want to be with you . . don say that u're making me suffer . .

ALL THESE IS ONLY WAD U THINK!
cant u see how much i need u now? cant u feel how much i love you still?
why does it fade? cant u try to get it back? i will put in my part n efforst to get it back . But its up to you if u wants me to get it back . .

last of all now i need nothing except you . .

2006-06-23T11:36:00.000+08:00

haiis . .
she left . . .

how i wish, i could be with you once again . .
how i wish, i can have you with me one more time . .
how i wish, i was a better boyfriend for you . .
how i wish, i am someone who u needs to be understanding . .
how i wish, i can stay with you forever . .
how i wish, we can last forever and happily ever after . .
how i wish, you wouldnt leave . .
how i wish, you're mine once again . .
how i wish, you're willingly to keep ur promise and stay with me . .
how i wish, we can be together . . . again . . .

Today morning went to pending LRT to wait for her to acc her go school . . . haiis . . my eyes was so pain . . reached pending LRT at 6.37am waited for her for a while . . Think she overslept bahx . . tried to wake her up by calling her but seems like cant wake her up . . Sorry to waste her time talking n smsing me yesterday night . .
haiis . . Saw her and met her at LRT station . . Gave her the things that i made and have done . .

When we were on LRT . . i kept grabbing onto her hand . . Just dont bear and don wish she would leave me . . I saw her right hand finger was empty . . Felt kinda sad . . Maybe she really wants to leave . . I've done n tried my best . . All i could do now is to wait for her . . .
However at the period of time , I'm so afraid . . so afraid . . reasons remains untold . .
haiis . . after sent her off to school . . Asked her to go for her guides . . Then i left and headed towards the 2nd floor de bench there . . Finally . . the tears that i've tried to bear with for the pass 40 to 30mins with her were shed . .

Sang songs like yi lu xiang bei , ge qian , jie kou , ni na me ai ta , ni bu zai , jia gei wo , hei se mao yi , ai wo bie zou and many more . . Tears were shed non stop . . till i decided to leave school at about 11am+ . . On the way to LRT was so lonely . . I cried again . . becoz she used to be with me after school wherever i go . .
When reached the LRT station . . while waiting for the LRT, my nose donno wad happen siax . . kept dripping blood . . Internal bleeding? Then no choice have to miss the train and leave the LRT station after buying three packets of tissue papers . .

Sat near the grass . . Tried to stop the bleeding and used up two packets of tissue . . And i cried once again . . Coz i remembered that she used to wiped my mouth for me when i was eating . . i just couldnt bear her to leave me . . Thoughts of her just couldnt stop apppearing in my mind . .
Lost my appetitte . . Hadnt been eating since yesterday . . Hungry? nahx i don care i'm numbed now . .

Haiis . . She asked me if i could wait for her . . Of course i could and i will . . to just be with her once again . . i need her . . Sorry to made her suffer so much being wit me . .

If only i were a better boyfriend for her . . nothing like this will occur . .
If only i were more understandable person to her . .
If only i can treat her better . . all these wont happen . .
If only i didnt had a bad attitude of mine . .
If only i am someone she needed most . .
If only i can be a better person . . It wont ended up like this . .
If only i could give in more to her . .
If only i could give her happiness . .
If only i can make her stay . .
If only . . .
If only . . . . . .

I'm the one to be blamed to caused all these . . I regretted . . regretted coz i didnt treat her better and made her stay . . .

I'm always the cause of all the problems . . .

I'm the cause of all these to happen . .

I'm the one that loses her . .

AND! i'll be the one to get her back . . *only if i can*
I'll be waiting . . . always waiting for you . . . i love you D . .

2006-06-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

haiis today early in the morning had diarrhoea so many times till my legs feel weak . . aRg . . also donno wad i ate . . didnt ate instant noodles for this week le mahx donno why still like that . . hmmm . .
No choice quickly get prepared and go to school for DNT coz i'm already late for 1hr le . . go quickly wash up and get changed then went off . . When reach the lift there my stomach suddenly pain again . . quickly rush back home . . arg . .
Diarrhoea is torturing me again . . haiis . . Then went to school . . reached at 11am lolx late for 2hrs! hahax . . hMmm then start work . . haiis do till half day dream . . Didnt feel well and no mood to do . . haiis . .
Then when break time, went to greenridge with muaii friends . . Didnt eat lahx coz no appetitte and stomach not feeling well . . haiis . . only drank a cup of FnN grape . . Then when they finish eating . . Went back to school again . .

haiis need to start work again . . . Donno why no mood to do anything . . went to the staircase alone and sat there thinking lots of things lahx . . haiis . . Then very slack kept kicking soccer ball with joel and go buy drinks with him and yuxiang they all . . Haiis was so sad and bored these days bahx . .
Then after we pack up and leave at about 4pm+ . .
Saw amos and soon teck playing bb . . heex then got a stupid idea . . I want go challange them . . heex . . LOLX! muahaha must be thinking i'm a bully bahx . .
hMmmm had 1 vs 1 with amos first . . hMmm i got the score but its for warm up >.<" so not counted . . then a bit slack lahx let amos keep shooting till he tired first then i go catch up . . hMmm when he wanna shoot i just raised my arm and the ball will hit my hand and bounce off . . He didnt got the chance to shoot infront of me . . hMm then i try letting go and didnt care about him then he shoot and score!
WTF! then cannot liao i start kill le . . tries to shoot 3 pointer but only one go in . . so the score is me 1 and amos 1 . . hMm then kept doing lay ups and 2 pointer shoot then in the end i won with the score of me 5 and amos 1 . .

Lolx then soonteck is next . .I won him with the score of me 5 and him 0 . . lolx . . totally trash him siax . . Then they come up with a stupid idea . . want 2 vs 1 . . So is amos n soonteck vs me . . arg . . although i won but i'm not that strong . . hMmm they try to squeeze me siax . . Was so tired after a day of DNT thats why no energy le so they got the score of 4 and me 2 . . Arg but i told myself i cant lose . . So in the end i catch up with the score of me 7 and them 5 . . hMmm but didnt really win with glory becoz they arent real bb players . . So am just a bully? but me also not counted lahx coz i so long no play bb le . . hMmm then went ouside school to meet up with zh . . Arg he so slow man . . waited for him 20mins . . nvm lahx also good coz i can sit alone and think about lots of things bahx . . haiis . . Then went to gary house instead and play com . . played DOTA with gary lolx was so fun lor . . I first time reach till owning siax! WOOT! but some with the help of gary bahx . . hMmm then after that played ps2 with ah pek . . hMm then was so fun n funny lahx . . lolx . . hMmm then very late le about 8pm+ le then me n zh very hungry so went to eat KFC. .

hMm we bought buddy meals . . which wasnt really enough for me . . hMm i was wondering i one person eat buddy meal then have ar lolx . . hMmm then went back home lor . . hahax chatted along the way . . hMmmm reached home at about 10pm? wao thats late . . haha . . then went off to bath and then here i am . . haiis . . my another day ust ends like that . . No calls and sms from her again . . Wondering wad she is doing . . wondering she got miss me? haiis . .

[[ finally you're coming back tomorrow . . But haiis . . . ]]

2006-06-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today woke up quite late lahx . . think must be becoz hadnt really slept much for the past few weeks bahx . . haiis . . hmm then after woke up had my breakfast then go play com lor . .

hmmm then later want go do homework then friend call me ask me out le . . hMmm nvm i at night then do . . hMmm went to plaza wid ah pek and nelson . . hMmmm at first wanted to play pool then got alot of dover ITE de ppl at there having bowling contest and also got ppl playing pool so we go arcade first . . Saw shiwei and jianwei there then played KOF . . hMmmm haiis i become more and more lousy le worx . . hMmm . .

Then after had rounds of KOF proceed to play pool . . Then played with ah pek first . . aRg made me so angry! haiis nvm lahx don wanna say wad happened . . Just a small matter anyway . . hMmm then kept quiet since then coz angry with ah pek . . hMmm haiis arg then walk to 6head lor then started playing bb . .
hMmm was so tired after a few match with friends . . haiis cannot le lahx must train le . . had been gaining weight since holiday started . .

hMmm was so exhausted . . hMmm went to senja grand and had some drinks. They bought drinks only me didnt. Was trying to save money . . didnt even had my lunch coz i used the money go play le then don wan waste any more money . .
hMmm then took bus home then . . Lolx ah pek was urgent to go toilet! ahahaha he's so funny . . although i kept quiet but thier joke was so damn funny! ahaha! . .

hMmm haiis then went back home le bath le eat le then here i am blogging . . ^^

[[ its another day without her in my life again . . haiis after her holiday she still have to go for camp . . haiis so busy till she cant even call or sms me . . haiis haiis haiis . . ]]

2006-06-20T13:43:00.000+08:00

haiis just suddenly thought of my childhood times . . haiis so sad lahx didnt had any siblings . .
Let me tell u how my childhood life is like bahx . . everytime after my kinder gardan, my aunt will go fetch me and bring me go her house . . Coz both my father n mother is working so cant go back home . . If not no one take care of me so my mum left me at aunt house . .

hMmm everytime reach aunt house first thing is go watch tv . . hMm then after that will be eat lunch then go sleep then watch tv again . . Everyday my life is like that then sometime will go look for my neighbours . . hMmmm even my neighbours are scared of me . . Some avoided me somemore . . Am i that irritating? haiis was so sad . . Am so lonely since young le . . will anyone know how i feel?
If can soemtimes will go to the play ground and play . . play ground is my best friend since young . . sobx sobx . .

sObx sobx . . till now am still the same bahx . . haiis . . But at least now is better le bahx . . haiis . .
lonely lonely lonely . . . . . . . . . .

2006-06-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

haiis today was another boring day . . hMmm woke up at 9am + and prepare to go to school hMmm haiis start a new day by missing her again . .
How i wish she would call me . .
Kept holding tight to my phone just in case she call me . . I know she wont cause she say too exp. so didnt put much hope on it . . haiis even when i sleep scared the phone left my hand and cant feel the vibration so went to take a rope and tie the phone to my hand . .
haiis . . headed to the school . . Arg DnT now felt so boring . .
haiis haiis haiis . . My life just sucks without her with me . .
hMmm but at least i don have to worry about her going to tuition coz of some reasons bahx haiis . . ARG stupid mr loi ask me go cut my nails if not don let me do work . . no choice then . . anyway school re opening mahx . . hmmm then start work . . also no do much lahx haiis just hope my work piece will turns out fine and could work?

haiis cut my hand again . . arg just cant pay attention in doing anything . . THEN SUDDENLY! * ring ring*
One new message!
OMG! its from her! arg but cant reply her . . haiis wish to tell her how much i missed her . . wish to tell her so much things . . But its ok nahx i'm glad she's safe and she's going ocean park ya? hMm hope she enjoy herself . . hmmm as long as she's happy i'm happy . . ^^

hMm had been thinking wad she's doing? how is she now? happy? sad? is she ok? is she tired? is she hungry?
all these questions kept appearing in my mind . .
hMm haiis . . although others may think that me crying coz of her leaving for a holiday is sily and stupid , then just let them be bahx they're not me they wont know how much i miss her and how hard it is to just see her once . .

haiis . . After everything we packed up at 4pm and left . . haiis then went home and slack . . Arg . . feeling so sick . . haiis . .
Just cant concentrate in doing anything , ,

[[ come back to me , i need u ]]

2006-06-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

hAiis . .
sHe left today . .

Today was totally bored and lonely bahx . . Woke up at 6am+ to had my last few sms with her *cry*
haiis then the last message she sent which made me unbearable was
*don cry . let me leave happy k? i going now *
*CRY!*
i cant even finish my last sentence with her . . From that time i cant sleep . . tears just flows non stop . . Haiis like a cry baby like that . . But no one will ever understands how i feel coz no one will ever needs someone more than i need her . .

I really need her and couldnt bear her to leave me . .
At 10+ she called me with her cousin's phone, i was glad to receive her call . . wanted to say alot of things to her but my mum is in the room . . Regretted not saying . .
SOBX SOBX*
haiis . . ever since that i layed down on the floor looking at the celling day dreaming . .
I day dream from 12pm to 6pm . . Cant find anything to do and no mood to do anything . . Leaving me is just like the whole sky came crashing down to earth . .
haiis . .
The whole day my phone remained silent . . Not used to her not sms or calling me . . How i wish she would at least give me a call or sms there . . But i think she wont bahx . . haiis . . . My day just starts and ends like this . . a disastrous holiday i had . .

cant stop thinking of her and cant stop dripping tears . .
I NEED U XIUJIN!

2006-06-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

hMmmmm its been a long holiday . . Alot of things happened . . hMmm then let me post all about them bahx . . hMmmm that day went to town with her and da jie. hMmm went to ceni leisure to have our movies. Before that they wanna go eat suki sushi? hMmm wa piang so expensive lehx! One plate $1.80 . . Lucky that day i lose my appetitte if not jia lat at there wash plate donno have to wash till when then can go home.

hMmm it was da jie's treat! omg was so paiseh have to let da jie pay coz she insist on paying . . haiis . . thEn the service there SUCKX! you order one noodles, you have to wait for 30mins before it was served and we were late for our movies lor because of that! hMm then ask that waiter to take a spoon he can go clean a table first the later saw me looking at him then remember the spoon thingy wtf.
Then when finish out food rushed to the theatre. Luck we was just in time for it and sat down. The front part was so boring man . . sIaNx i hate ghost movie lolx . . But my baobei wan watch^^.
hMmm then was a bit tired wanna go toilet then she accompanied me go . . heex then then.

hMmm then went back to catch our show then after that rush off to her tuition. . haiis speaking of her tuition . . haiis how i wish she wasnt there having tuition . . haiis . . hmmm say that guy, at first wanna gib my friend a call de but think haiis forget it lahx . . hMmmm then went back home with da jie. Chatted along the way with her . . hMmmm she was tired though, i can see from her face . . Haiis then when on the bus i sat alone thinking about thing bahx . . sad sad sad. . haiis nvm . .

OK then yesterday ahem! WAS SUCH A NICE DAY! WOO!
hMmm lolx one word " FUN!" can describe it all . . Just enjoy the time being with her so fun and so nice . . So sweet too . . ^^
hEex start work from 9.30am to 2.30am . . wOO!
hMm then after that went to play bb with friends hmmm so fun so long no play with them le . . hMmm then after that went to plaza had dinner . . hMmmm i went to arcade and they went to play pool. sMs with her . .^^ hMmm then halfway my phone no batt .. . JIALAT! ask them when they finishing then kinda wait for some time then can rush home. Suddenly can feel that she miss me alot and me too miss her alot! OMG!

haiis she going hong kong man . . sobx sobx . . How i wish she can stay . . haiis nvm lahx its at least better than her staying for tuition. haiis . . hmm then at night talk to her on phone kinda unhappy? haiis donno why lah then through out the night just simply can move my thoughts of her away . . hMmm then stayed up till 4am haiis i needed her so much . . haiis . .
She gonna left my heart soon . . just one more day . . haiis . . Then we'll have to wait till school re open . . sad sad . . haiis . . haiis haiis . . .

[ Let this pair of hearts forever stays loving and peaceful forver together ]

2006-06-11T16:35:00.000+08:00

I never told you much about how sad i am.
Know why?
Cause i don want you to worried about it and suffers.

I never had tell you much of how i feel.
Know why?
Cause i don want you to be hurt.

I never had try to hurt you.
Know why?
Cause i don't bear to do it.

I never know that i would love you that much.
Know why?
Cause i shed my crocodile tears for you

I never had thought of leaving you.
Know why?
Cause i really love you.

I never regretted being with you.
Know why?
Cause u treats me good.

I never had love someone so much
Know why?
I also donno . . ops ..

I know you loved me.
Cause you shed tears for me.

And i hope you wont leave me no matters wad happens.
Cause i need n love you . .

2006-06-11T13:31:00.000+08:00

hMmm went to shiwei's house yesterday with jonathan . . hMmmm went there to play com . . Played dota with them . . hMmm am still so noob at it bahx . . hMmm Lolx gang bang with jonathan as he choosen butcher and i of course use anti mage lahx . . we hide in the forest and then he hook the opponent in and we gang bang . . LOLX! although its gay but its fun!
hMmm we kept chasing it non stop then finally i mana void! *`LIMIT.break+. has pawned . . . . . . . . . . . 's head for ??? gold*
LOLX! it feels so good to kill! had several kills in that game . . hmmm then tat shi wei wth lor >.<" . . u know wad? he kept OWNING, HOLY SHIT, GODLIKE etc! WTH!!! AHHH!

hMm then after that went to look for her at pending LRT . . haiis so sad lahx she just walk off . .haiis . . then waited for jian wei to come and went to plaza . . hmmm went to the arcade . . hMmm hahax spent only 5dollars on arcade . . hMmmm haiis am broke . . didnt even dare to spent a single cent on food after that . . Usually if i'm damn hungry or wad i would hack care and use up all the money one . . But now think really broke bahx . . hmMm . . monday, tuesday and wednesday. Three days more so will be $30. hMmm at least thursday go out will have money to spent bahx ^^. . How i wish i was born in a rich family . . haiis . . hMmmm k drop the subject . . hMmm then no choice . . have to take the urge of the food while my friends are eating . . haiis . . Was so damn hungry lahx till i had gastric . . hMmm no choice . . Then after that went to shiwei's house again . .

before that went to carpark lor . . LOLX! they want take photos ! >.<" . . hMm then took a few photos bahx now is waiting for jonathan to upload the photos into his com and send us . . hMMmm . . then went to shiwei's house again bahx. hMmm omg! luckily his maid cooked maggie noodles for us! THANKS!
played dota again . .

hMmm then went home bahx . . muahaha! mum brought food for me . . hMmmm but the food wasnt enough for me lahx so had to cook extras for me more in order to feel full . . LOLX!
hMmm wa so much food! start kill! *yUmm yummm ummm!!* FRESH MEAT! lolx jkjk . . hMmm then my mum said one thing, " want feed me will sure feed till they broke!" LOLX! hahax . .
hMmm then after that felt a bit sleepy . . OMG like a pig like tat eat le sleep, sleep le eat . . LOLX! then went to have a bath then haiis suddenly don feel like sleeping . . hMm wish there would be ppl acc me go playground . . Every night was so lonely at the playground . .
Would be there singing then . . hMmm . . haiis . .

[[ my days were numbered, hope i could cherish the rest of my life with you . . . ]]

`sad and sorrow.

2006-06-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

SAD!!!

2006-06-03T11:16:00.000+08:00

hmmm yesterday night went to plaza with nelson and zihan . . hMmm chatted on the way there . . hmmm though we didnt do much things and kept walking around . . But the chatting and the things we chat kept us away from feeling bored . .

Saw our friends there . . hmmm then at first is wanna go arcade and wait for the ppl there to finish playing pool first but ended up we go play lan instead . . ARG!
Me and zihan 2 ppl even kanna trash by nelson . . hmmm arg i not enough time to save up for two bashers! ahh!! then kanna pawned! arg! wtf he reacfhed beyond godlike! ARG! hMmm then after that we went to play CS! muahaha planned to trash them de . . but time over le . . ARG! like i'm not good in any game siax . . but i think i better in CS btu not enough time to prove only . .

hMmm then went off to go look for her . . Heex first time she at night can come out find me siax . . hMmm so happy .. hMmm at first was feeling damn sick lahx . . Feeling so feverish and kept pespiring when walking to jelapang LRT . . hais . . hMmm then called her when i reached . . hMmm then went to the stair case there and chat bahx . . hmmm . . *sweet talk*
hMmm then we chatted from about 8+ till 10 like that then they wanna go home le . . then her cousin ask me go their ah ma`s house . . OMG!
*heart pounding fast*
hmm then went in . . hMmm sat down on a chair and rest . . then went to the balcony . . hMmm . .

The night was so sweet . . felt like as if both our parents allow us to go each other's house le like that . . . hmMmm then after that her aah ma came out le then gotta rush off . . hMmmm . .
Am really touch bahx . . Thanks dear . . and da jie ^^ . .

thanks for everything . .

I love u . .

2006-06-02T16:58:00.000+08:00

` I'M YOURS. AND ONLY YOURS . . .

` YOU'RE MINE. AND ONLY MINE . . .
[ hope these words will last forever . . haiis . . . ]

I need you so much . . .
but you you . . . haiis . . .

[ hope everything turns out fine ]

2006-06-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

Haiis . . these few day's life totally sux . .
hmmm haiis these few nights kept didnt have the mood to sleep . . So ended up not sleeping lo . .
hMmm its been three days since i hadnt sleep or sleep well le bahx . .
haiis . . had been thinkign so much . . haiis donno wad to do anymore . .
Maybe i'm really hopeless bahx . .

hAiis . . wad can i do?

haiis . . unexpected problems kept coming to me . . i couldnt cope . . i need to rest . . .
I wish i could just stay at home someday and sleep the whole day with her accompanying me . . haiis . .

I'm hurt . .
I'm in a mess . .
I'm so stressed up . .
I'm so fucked up . .
I'm so . .

so . .

Haiis donno how to say . . Just feeling very very very sad bahx . .

2006-05-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

U GOT NO GIRLFRIEND IS IT?! SHE'S MINE LAH ! THERES NO OTHER GIRLS TO LET U SEE IS IT?! LIKE TO SEE SO MUCH GO SENTOSA SEE LAHX BASTARD!

SO FUCK UP!!!

CURSE UR FAMILY DIE LAHX KNN!!!!!!!! CCB!

FUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKER
FUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKER
FUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKER
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FUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKER
FUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKERFUCKER!!!!!!!!

2006-05-31T23:33:00.000+08:00

hmmmm recently donno wad happens to me lahx haiis haiis haiis . . . today was so bored at home haiis was almost kill by loneliness . . hMmm today went to 6head bb court go find friend . . Thought they there playing bb or wad mahx so quickly ask my papa send me there . . Coz i also very long no play BB le . . recently get so stressed up by exams . . haiis haiis haiis . . hMmmm . . . haiis . . then when i reached . . i saw them left le arg thought they saw want play . . hMmmm . . then went to Greenridge lo . . Went to 7eleven le then to KFC . .

went KFC chat wid them hmmm chatted for 3hrs or so then kept eating non stop . . haiis also donno why . .
haiis aiyah don feel like posting le lahx no mood to post le. . end here for the moment . . .

[[ nothing more i could do ]]

2006-05-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

hmmmm went to sentosa this morning . . hmmm actually i already know that i may be going le but scared my friend in the end cant wake up mahx plus she sleep le and wanna gave her a surprise instead too! so decided not to tell her about it! heex shhhh . . .

Lolx wanna wait till when i reach sentosa then giv her a call or wad de . . but she early in the morning call me le . . Plus i didnt sleep well and not really slept . . only sleep for 2hours . . haiis . . hMmmm but am feeling so sick today morning . . my whole body kept feeling very hot . . hMm chatted with her on the phone for a while heex then bluff her go bath . . LOLZ! sorry didnt meant to bluff her but no choice coz i wanna gib her a surprise! Had been making her so sad for these days so wanna make up for all that . . hMmm then went off to meet my friends and went to plaza coz she and her friends at bus stop. . hMmm arg say till her that friend . . ARG! nvm forget it . .

hMmm then went to sentosa on bus after that . . so hot siax. . . yawns sang songs with friends on the bus! LOLZ! hmmmm sang er shi er! m,uahahaha! hMmm then they had thier breakfast at habourfront . . hMm was perspiring there . . so damn hot . . haiis . . feeling so unwell the whole day . .
hmmm when reach siloso called her . . hmmmm then wx go find his friend there . . hMm then played beach volleyball . .WOOTS! hMmm finally can get my hands on volleyball after such a long time . . hMmm then got once the ball got lots of sand then when i got the ball all the sand went into my eye!!! OMG SO FREAKING PAIN!!!! SOBX SOBX she wasnt there if not she sure will help me blow my eye de . . hMm no choice in the middle of the game had to continue play . . So continue playing with my eyes closed . . wad to say PRO? hahax . . hMmm then had a rest . . Arg then WTF! my toes bleeding . . Arg . . didnt even realise it coz like no pain siax . .? hmmm then after tat she came and look for me . . hMmm her friend wanna go palawang beach but she kept asking her friend to stay with her . . but her friend don wan . . So i told her that she go play wid her friend first bahx . . later then contact me again . . Don wan her to lose her friend just becoz of me . . I dont worth it . . haiis . . then went to the sea and play ! hmmm i wrote " xiujin laopo i love you!" on the beach . . heex! but too bad "my" phone de camera not good enough nto clear . . haiis but cant be ask her to come all the way here de mahx . . haiis then no choice the wave washed it away . . hMmm then thought that girl like sea shells de . . So kept looking for it for a long time then accidentally step on a sharp sharp thing then bleed again . . arg! hmmm . . In the end only able to find 4 nia . . hMmmm haiis thought of finding alot then put in a bottle give her de but so less only . .

hMmm then after that had another rounds of vb again then off to bath . . hMmmm then went to palawang beach . . hMmmm felt so bad that i had to pang seh weixiong and gary . . Askedthem to acc me there then in the end pang seh them . . SORRY!
hmmm then off to underwater world with her!!! heex so fun and nice!
hmmm poor her having headache cant really enjoy . . But me arent any better . . Just that i kepy my conditions to myself . . hmmm then kept helping her massage her head . .hMm then we went goign around the underwater world . . was so nice! AND! the funny part was! We saw a crab display at there then the crab then the crab was the same height as me . . nvm BUT TALLER THAN HER! lolx she sooo cute! muackx! after that had my food then off to meet her friends le . . hMmm sent her home then . . heex . . .

We were so sweet on the way home worx! muackx here muackx there! lolx. . ppl envy siax! ops! jkjk . . hahax! hMmm then her papa come send her home . . hMm then very bored and tired siazx going home. . hmmm see her going home saftly i'm glad . . miss you my D.laopo!

MUACKX!

[[ a great day with her ]]
Lover her so much! I LOVE SIEW XIU JIN!!!!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!! MUACKX!!!

2006-05-30T00:11:00.000+08:00

HAIIS HAIIS HAIIS.

( tears in the eyes . . i'm sorry . . )

2006-05-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

Hmmm time flies and chinese o lvl had just past . . haiis i seriously think i really need to spent more time on my studies le bahx . . haiis . . don wish to regret when the o lvl results are released . .

I don wanna be the one crying and instead i wanna be the one feeling happy . . hMmmm i'll work hard for this month to catch up on wad ever i've missed out . .

Haiis o lvl chinese paper was so dificult . . they say we need a b3 at least . . If not have to retake!!! WTH! B3?! i don even think i can get b4 lor . . haiis . . sobx sobx . . so worried . . arg headache . . stress!

hMmm i'm so touced by wad she posted . . Love her lots . .

Time flies and its been two months,
I love the time when u were in my arms . .
I'm always worried about you
Coz i don wan other ppl to hurt or touch you . .

There may be quarrels at all times with one another,
But it all were just meant that we care for each other . .
The promises we made with each other,
Were the things we have to try harder . . .

you've sent me a messge which touched me so much . .
" The day since i want to stead with you
i already know that you're going to be mine
and the one who i'm going to spend my whole life with you "
by: xiujinD.

You're the one who gave me the most love i ever wanted
You're the one who i'm most worried about
You're the one which i most wanted . . .
Your'e the one i wanna spend my whole life with . .
And . . .

You're the one and only that i love . . .

[[ you wont leave me no matters wad happen right? ]]

2006-05-27T08:42:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!

time flies and its been two months . . . Days had past time had gone . . Memories stays . . .
i really enjoyed being with you . . .

2006-05-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

HAIIS HAIIS HAIIS ! ! !

wad am i gonna do?????
Am so sad and stressed up these few days . . .
What is she doing now?
Is she thinking about me?
Is she talking on phone?
Where is her heart now?
Will she leave me?
Will she love me forever?

these are the questions hidden . . .

[[ needed you more and more each day . . haiis haiis haiis . . wads wrong wid me ? ]]

2006-05-25T16:41:00.000+08:00

hMmmm today was so damn late for school . . Coz i forgot to press alarm clock . . ARG! woke up at 6.45am . . rushed everything! and got ready in 10minutes time then rushed to school . . Saw her waiting outside my class with fiona . . hMmm then she passed her things to me . . haiis . . so sad siaz . . Still cant accept the fact that i lost my phone . . Was so sad without phone . . hMmm no phone = no life . . But lucky i still got her which broughts me back to life . . i love her!

hMmm then had intensive mother tongue again . . hMmm then after her cross country, she went home first with xinyi . . Heex she was so funny . . in the toilet go li siao her with xinyi then debbie at there laughing . . she's so cute! AHHH!!!
heex cant believe that i've got such a nice girlfriend ya? heex she treats me very good . . thats why i'm afraid to lose her . . haiis . . hMmm then after that planned to go out study de but in the end cancelled le coz she headache . . heex so fun then! hMmm delicious . . i love the foods!

hMmm then i gave my papa a call and ask if he got extra phone to spare me or not then he ask me to borrow from my aunt first then he buy me w900i~~~~!!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!
hMmm but after concidering i think better not coz very exp and i don wan my papa to spent so much on a phone for me in case i lost it again . .
hMmm nvm lah next time go out then we see again which pair of phones we like more then we consider again . . If really no nice de then buy w900i bahx . . So far i think that all the brand that i've used only sony ericsson good . . hMmmm i use before nokia, 8250, 3310, 7250 , 3230, 7610, 6260, motorola e365, samsung, sgh d500c , e700a, panasonic x500 and sony ericsson w800i . . .

HAIIISSSS . . . W8OOI IS THE BEST PHONE I EVER USED!

[[ so afraid that i might lose you ]]

2006-05-24T19:36:00.000+08:00

I LOST MY PHONE TODAY!!!!!

haiis . . today was such a nice day lor . . Today accompany her to go see doc . . Haiis she gotta take the jab, to prevent her from falling sick when going overseas . . haiis looking her take the jab really hurts . . When i saw the jab went into her arm. . It was as if the jab went into my heart . . It hurts . . After the jap think got effects then she was screaming away coz she was in pain . . Haiis . . Then i let her bite my hand . . Although she bite real hard and real pain . . but i just let her bite . . Even she broke my hand i don mind . . as long as it can let her feel better is ok le . . Haiis .. . .

hMmm then went to northpoint shopping centre . . WENT TO ARCADE! spent 40dollard topping up and played lots of games. . . hMmmm . . Then after that went to SWENSENS!!! OMG! it was so damn delicious ok! Chewy chocolate ice cream! omg it became my favorite ice cream . . Coz its got lots of chocolate fludge in it . . hMm after that went home then . .

Took taxi home . . haiis haiis haiis . . I lost my phone then . . Coz i left it on the taxi . . haiis . . i don care about the phone . . i only cared about the things inside the phone . . All the precious photos, the momories . . the messages . . and the SIM card . . hais . . . DONNO WHICH FUKING IDIOT TOOK LE AND OFF IT! CURSE HIM/HER WHOLE FAMILY DIE!
haiis . .

Went home dragging my feet . . haiis . . then went back to pending LRT and made calls to my father, mother n her . . hMm she didnt pick up . . then my papa say next time then buy me one again . . WTF then my mum scold scold scold . . scold for wad?! scold le my phone whill come back ar . .?! knn . .
Haiis . . at least when i reached home . . i called her . . haiis . . I told her and she immediately react and ask her cousin help me call to the taxi company . . I'm so glad that i've found the right girl . . haha! u must be thinking that its very funny rite? a person who i lived with for 16yrs(my mum) and a person who i've just know and be with for about two months u must be thinking that of course my mum will help me rite? but no . . She and her cousin helped me instead . . Am really touched . . she cheered me up on the way . . .

She really treats me very good . . i love her . . haiis but no more phone le . . gonna die le then . . no more mp3, no more camera . . nothing . . haiis . . .
my phone!
hMm my papa also very good . . he asked me not to be sad and bought me bubble tea to cheer me up . . i said i don wan he said its ok . . phone lost le he still will buy one for me . . ^^ so sweet rite? hMm but i planned to change hp with her . . ^^ couple phone . . hope we can last forever . .

I love u . .

2006-05-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

I'm a lousy boyfriend . . .
I only think for myself . . .
I am over protective . .
I am always having a sad or angry face . . .
I am a sensitive person . .
I am a good for nothing . . .
I am someone who only know how to give ppl troubles . .
I am a weak hearted boy who hurts easily . . .
I am someone who hides unhappy things to myself . .
I am worthless . . .
I am hopeless . .
I am nothing . .
I am sad. . .
I am hurt. . .

I AM! Just nothing . . .

sorry to have hurt you . . .
i donno by loving u so much can cause harm to you . .
i donno by protecting you may over protect you . .
i donno by being sensitive will cause troubles to our relationships . .
i donno by being myself will makes u sad . . .
i donno by being with you , makes u feel so tough . .
i donno its so hard to be with me . .

I'M soRRy . . .

` tears means hurts
- I'm the cause of problems in every relationship . .
I hope this relationship wont ends . . Coz i love her . . tats why i never would think of leaving her . .
but if she wants to . . i wont force her to stay . . .
If this has to end, then i'll not have any anymore . . coz i finally know that my heart, doesnt know how to love . .

` Wo tai ai ni le . . Ke shi , wo tai bu hui ai ni le . . .

[[ A million words cant brings you back, i know . . . Coz i've tried . . .
Neither does a million tears, i know . . Coz i've cried . . . ]]

2006-05-23T18:15:00.000+08:00

hMmmm haiis . . today woke up early in the morning with swollen eyes . . have to wait for it to recover before going to school . . hmm didnt have the mood to make my hair so only put hair spray and then left for school . . hMmm then saw her walking towards my class at the bus bay there . . everytime when i reached the school i always see her at the bus bay there . . was only a few minutes late . . hMmmm then went to look for her . . haiis . . . hMmmm then today wet weather . . Arg went to her class and a girl said " ai yo want to da qing ma qiao go somewhere else lah!" wtf i like cannot ar . . wad a bit*h . . FUCK LAH!

haiis . .got so much things happens these days . . hMmm after school went to the canteen and watch i not stupid2 . . hMmm then went to tuition . . but go for a while only then she called me le . . then i have to go . . its ok since i'll be returning back to school later at 7pm . . hMmmm then she accompanied me . . i wanted coz i wish to see her more as the time left isnt much . . haiis . . hMmm then went to bb court . . didnt want to play de but weston asked me to help so no choice but to agree . . but in the end look at the watch and it was 5.20 . . how can i be so selfish?! she still needs to go home early and go for tuition . . haiis see how selfish i was . . But in the end told weston tat i gtg le . . so paiseh . . hMm haiis . . hMmmm then send her home with a sweet goodbye kiss . . .

Haiis nowdays everystep i walk on the way i would always think . . " wad will happen next? will anything worst happen? . . ."
Haiis . . Couldnt explain how i felt yesterday and the day before . . It totally hurts me deep though . . hMmm now donno why when ever i'm doing things, tat matter will just flashes through my mind . . making me felt sad and hopeless . . haiis i donno wad to do . . Felt so useless being a boyfriend which cant prevent others from . . haiis nvm . . maybe like wad huishan had said bah . . i'm over protective? haiis . . sorry i don wanted it too . . but that is just how guys react normally . . haiis . . .

[[ A cut across my heart, which brought flashes through my mind ]]

But no matters wad . . .

I'll still and always love you . . .

Till the day i left . . .

2006-05-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

hmMmm time flies and the countdown to O levels is getting nearer . . hMmmm early in the morning was so sweet and happy . . haiis . . woke her up . . heex it feels so sweet . . Just like husband waking up the wife to cook breakfast for him . . heex . . so sweet to hear her voice early in the morning . . hMmmm woke up early today to get prepared to go school early . . Coz we're craving hard to see each other and misses each other so much . . hMmm reached school arg but was still a few minutes later than her . . hump . . heex . . finally see her ! so happy . .

hMmm enjoyed the morning . . hMm then after that had intensive mother tongue again . . arg . . so much work to do and so tired man . . haiis . . Wish i can sleep early everynight . . hMmmm cant concentrate in class coz i'm to tired . . Arg . . hMmmm then during recess went to canteen wid eric and had our lunch together . . hMmm then went to look for jonathan . . hMmm looking for jonathan was just an excuse . . But the real motive was to see her thats all . . Really will die without seeing her for so long . .

HmMmm then had lessons again . . hMmm today de lessons so stressed . . hMm we gotta plan our timetable during the june holidays . . haiis . . so difficult lor . . hMm nvm lahz but i really must study le mahz . . hMmm haiis . . wanna planned a timetable which i can both study and accompany her . . hMmm its hard though but i must give it a try . . hMmm . . of course the time i have to study must be longer than the time i'll be seeing her becoz o lvl is coming . . and thats why i planned to study at night too coz first, i can spent the time in the afternoon with her, second, my brain works only at night . . .

hMm ok then it was after school! YAY! can see her once again . . hMmm but tat stupid teacher wanna brief us on the o lvl thing . . not that i don feel that it is important lah but she can just said it all using the microphone mahz stupid de still ask us go down . . Go down nvm ar still ask us to move her move there . . Sit in our class somemore ar . . WTF can just say de rite!? knn . . arg . . hMmm went to plaza after that heex she so cute can! lols love her so much . .

heex went to long john and it blacked out!! Lolz feel like buying one candle and place it on our table . . Romantic rite? hMmm then after that haiis . . don wanna say . .
hMm whenever things happens, i'll always have one sentence in my mind . . . " THERE'RE SO MANY GIRLS IN THIS WORLD TO CHOOSE AND WHY MUST IT BY MY GIRL?! " hmmm haiis sometimes i think maybe i'm the one thinking too much . . maybe i'm the one being too petty or maybe i'm the one misunderstood? . . I know my sensitivity and attitude sucks . . Not that i don wanna change . . i tried thousands and millions of times to change and calm down first before anything happens . . But my heart jus over took me . . My heart is wad that got the wrong thinking but my mind, my mind is right . . i know how it should be and how i should react and tried lots of times to calm down and believe her . . But the hearts just acts its way . .

This prolem just making me an unperfect person . . She treats me very well and dotes on me alot . . But i'm just too useless and not able to re pay her by treating her good . . Wad a useless stead i am right? What a lousy one i am too . . I know its tough for her to communicate and be with me coz my feelings just totally sux . . Its been hard on her . . Sorry . . haiis . . . I made her cried becoz of me alot of times and i don mean it . . i don meant to hurt her sometimes . . I really hope i can do something to made her forgive me . . hMmm haiis . . . hMmmm haiis . . sorry sorry and sorry . . .

[[ although it hurts, but i still still kept on being there for you ]]

2006-05-20T17:46:00.000+08:00

hmmm today had to return back to school early in the morning for chinese remedial . . ARG! i arraged to had my lessons at 30mins earlier de . . Went to school and no one was there nvm coz i wanna have it earlier . . BUT! the teacher was late! ARG! she said she forgotten! WTH!
AHHH!!! hMm nvm the moment i saw her i took the papers from her immediately and went to my class to do first while waiting for them to get the keys to open the door . . hMmmm then rushed all! the comprehension was like so damn difficult lo . .

Arg then when finished . . Went off to plaza and on the way acc eric go home then went to meet up with her . . ran there and sweat again . . arg . . hMmmm we took taxi to causeway the n and took some pics . . heex love taking pics of her . . hMmmm then went there to see if got movies to watch or not . . but haiis . . the movie she wan no more le but she wan watch Voice whish is nc16 de . . But i didnt bring IC so cant watch . . haiis then see her so sad i also sad lo . . Not don wanna watch with her . . haiis . . Then went off to arcade . . hMmmm heex i love using two pistols at a time in a game so fun! heex . . hMmm then played alot of games lahz . .basketball ar, initial d ar, daytona ar, jurrasic park ar, time crises ar and tried getting a soft toy for her . . hMmm was so fun lahz at arcade . . hMmm then we went to SEOUL GARDEN!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

hMmm hadn't been to seoul garden for a long time le . . Can finally have my stomach on the foods again . . MUAHAHA! as usual i would go take a big plate full of garlic chicken . . heex! then took alot of food!!!! muahaha FOOOD FOOOD FOODD!!!! heex so happy . . ate till so full . . and when they finish eating . . Of course i wouldnt be full so fast lahz so i continued eating . . and she cooked for me! so sweet rite?! heex . . hMmm then continue to eat eat eat . . hmMmm then she used my phone to take lots of pics . . heex then after that i signed up to be one of the member there . . heex wa brought 100 there then go home left 20 . . lolz nvm lahz see her so happy i also happy . . heex . .

hmmmm today so happy being with her . . so sweet today . . no quarrel worz . . heex . . hMmm hope we can be like this everyday . . hMmm then send her off to her tuition . . haiis . . hmmm on the MRT fall asleep with her . . so comfortable . . stupid freaking guy keep staring at us! ARG! so wad i did was obviously stared back . . then he looked away . . HAHAHAHA!!! hMmm saw her meet up with her friends then went to jurong . . While waitinf for MRT to come . . was peeping at her with her friends on the bringe walking towards their tuition centre . . hMmm feel like walking her there also but nvm lahz think she wanna be with her friends more . . see her so happy when she's with her friends . . See her happy i also happy . . .

hmmmm her tuition? . . haiis . . hmmm then went home . . asked papa come fetch me . . then got a call . . ARG everytime call and KPKP me! fucked up! hmm after that went home le lo then . . .

[[ Had an enjoyable day with her . . Feels so happy with her ]]

2006-05-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

Wao surprisingly i have been working hard for these few dyas . . kept doing extra chinese paper 1 de Gong Han and Bao Zang Bao Dao untill 1am for teacher to mark . . Then have to wake up early in the morning 5am to go to school . . 4HRS OF SLEEP ONLY AND I'M ABLE TO TAKE IT! SURPRISE BAH?! Ask paper2 now nothing to memorise le thats why have to depent on paper1 to score very well . . Coz i paper2 sure lose alot of marks de . .

hMmmm next week gonna work extra hard again and especially sunday! Sunday is the day i lock myself at home in my room to study the whole day! hMmm hope during sunday i can get everything into my brain and not leaving a single thing to remember for to go . . I must master all the skills for paper1 . . hMmm then after paper1 gonna rest for a few days then need to chiong DnT de folio again le . . then after that gonna chiong the other subjects le . . hMmmm i hope i can do well for chinese de O lvl exam . . NOT ONLY CHINESE! and also all other subjects . . Weird siaz when o lvl is around the corner i begin to work extra hard automatically . . hMm nvm lahz coz i don wanna regret and cry when i got back the o lvl results . . hMmm I WANNA DO WELL FOR ALL!!!!

hMmm and not forgeting all those who were taking O lvls too this year! Good luck to everyone . . And those who are not takeing O lvl this year . . Do take lots of care ya! hMmm ok lets talk about today then . .
hMmm early in the morning got so mad! ARG! hMmm coz she throw my lyrics in the dustbin! ARG! then i just walk out of the class lo . . haiis . . hMmm then went to toilet . . *BING BANG BANG!!!!*
LOLZ! hMm then after that had to forget everything and concentrate on my chinese . . But i cant . . therefore smsed her and quarrelled . . :(
hMmm then cant finish my paper . . kept going to toilet and waking around the school . . haiis . . then after that recess cant go eat coz thought Geog teacher will want us to hand up the files by today then in the end she say monday . . WTH . . should have gone to recess . . hMmmm . . nvm lah asked fiona to help me buy food! thanks fiona! hmmm then after school went to look for her . . hMmm everytime after quarrel we'll become more and more sweeter nehz . . Donno why . . heex juz love her so much . .

hMmmm but its moodswing period for her also donno why . . maybe is like wad she said bahz . . stress of the exams . . hMmm hope her moodswing period will be over as soon as possible bahz . . Very hard to communicate with each other like that coz every little thing we can quarrel about it . . hMmmm . . . Then after that erm went back to finish my Gong han and handed in to teacher . . hMmm Miss phay had been working so hard for us too! really thanks alot for her effort . . hMmm then after that go somewhere . . hMmm lalala~
Haiis . . but but but . . donno why she reminds back about her ex . . . Haiis haiis haiis . . at first still thought she's happy being with me and could forget everything in the past . . but but but . . haiis she asked me a question then she say . . . . nvm . . haiis . . nvm lahz i know i'm not good enough for her .. .. .. .. *sobz sobz*

[[ Really love you lots and hope moodswing period will be over soon bahz . . Don think of the past le lahz . . Its already the past . . *SOBZ SOBZ* ]]

2006-05-18T17:49:00.000+08:00

hMmmm haiis had been doing lots of chinese revision of paper 1 essay writting . . hMm hope i can do well in my chinese O lvl bahz . . I can only do more of paper1 coz paper2 now cannot study le . . paper2 i can only depend on comprehension to help me score . .
Coz my chinese damn lousy de . . Got alot of words i donno how to read . . So my chinese close passage sure die . . haiis now i got back the confident in my chinese paper . . I had always been failing and getting bottom line for chinese, this time i wanna work hard for it!

hMmm then after working hard for my chinese de o lvl then will be chionging for my other subjects le! GONNA MUG HARD! hMmmm i wanna get into ngee ann poly . . so tat i can have a degree n look for better paid jobs . . hMmmm today had five periods straight of chinese lesson again as usual . . hMmmm did mok test3 for today . . I tried my new tactics by doing the comprehension first . . hMmm indeed its useful coz in the middle of the paper i went to toilet alot of times too and it almost took out 1hr of my time but i still managed to finish the two important comprehension . . hMmm but when i finished times up . . and i figured out that if i didnt went to toilet and instead spent my time on the close passage n another two compre( write no. de ) i may have finished in time . . hMm but in the end coz i didnt have much time so i can only anyhow write the no. . . lol . . ops!

hMmm then after school stayed back for the remedial and finished up very quickly . . coz don wan her to wait too long . . lol then my chinese teacher very funny . . still say wad " wa! the power of love!" lolz . . hMm then went off back home with her . . hMmm then haiis . . . . . . . .

[[ its time for me to wake up and study! ]]

2006-05-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

hmmm today wad a bad day bahz . . hadnt been feeling well for two days le . .haiis had intestine probs again . . hMmm haiis . . nvm lahz i'll live how long then how long lor . . its fated de bahz . .
Just wanna spent more time with her . .

hMmm had been so stressed up these few days . . so much things to do and undone . . haiis chinese chinese chinese . . SO STRESS!!!!! HAVING CHINESE O LVL NEXT NEXT WEKK!!!!! OMG!!!!
AHHHH!!!!!!
Haiiiiiisssss how to cope . . . every night had to sleep so late n wake up to early . . arg! hMm slept late coz have to do chinese worksheets . . wake up early coz have to go school early! coz want to see her so much!
hMmm i must learn to be strong! to be able to take both relationships and studies together! Both are important in my life . . hMmm now i manage to at least settle both things le bahz . . really wanna work hard . . don wanna regret like wad teachers had always been saying about . .

hMmmm today after school went to find her . . Arg stomach feeling so unwell thats why no went to the chinese remedial and hope to go home rest early . . haiis then nvm . . . hMmm went to take bus and go home . . heex erm erm erm . . .*whistle*
hMmm then when reach home feeling so unwell . . haiis . . donno wad to do . . you guys would be thinking of why i didnt go see doc bahz . . coz see doc also no use de me . . i'm alergic to medicine . . haiis . .

[[ never gonna leave you . . ]]

2006-05-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

( the thing i treasures most in my life and also not forgeting my friends and her =] )

hmmm today morning went to school a bit later than her . . heex sorry to let her wait . . sorry dear . . hmmm then went to my class put my bag first . . then jin you told me something . . haiis bad news . . hope he would be ok . . hMmm he told me becoz he still treats me as a friend, so i'll try to talk to him about it or if he need my help i'll be there . .

hMmm then she came to my class and look for me . . Then went to put her back and off to e5 . . Look for jonathan and exchange hp to look for themes . . hMm then after that look for lawrence . . hMmm wa piang see his face donno why will buei song . . arg . .nvm then after that went back to e5 again . . hMmm then she return me my vcd also donno wad happen . . donno who make spoil it de . . hmm nvm lahz a vcd nia also don care . . hMmm then she bought me a wallet! OMG! its the wallet tat i said nice tat day then she go buy . . (*touched* *cry*) i'm so touched till i got nothing to say so give her a hug . . really thank her alot . . hMmmm now must save money lo . . heex buy thing gib her . . hMmm . . And want bring her go jack's place n swensen eat! hMmm . .

hMmm then after that was chinese period lor . . siao siaz! 5periods straight . . nvm i slept for 1 period . . haiis got so much work to do . . cant cope cant cope! ARG! i totally flunk my mid yr . . not even one subject was passed . . *SAD!* i will work hard for O lvls! i mean it!
hmm had headache coz not enough sleep again . . haiis . . hMmm then after that went for assembly then went to look for her . . lolz sooo cute someone jealous! heex but is becoz of jonathan >.<" . .

hMmm then went to plaza with her and xinyi . . erm erm erm . . then then . . haiis nvm . . .
sorry . . .
I'm glad she gave in to me by calling me . . she really did changed for me . . Last time she wont even care about me when i'm sad or angry . . I'm really really really x 100000000. .. . glad that she did it for me . .
I love her i really love her! She treats me so good and i promise and swear that i will treat her even better . . But haiis maybe is my sensetivity and jealousy bahz . . i really really need to change too! just for her . . i'm willing to do anything for her . . Even if it costs my life . . i'll still do it . .

[[ I love you just as much . . . ]]

[[

2006-05-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

hmmmm haiis cant sleep donno why . . worried? sad?
hmmmmm donno . . haiis . . juz know that i'm afraid
bahz . . .

haiis worried that she would leave me someday . . .
I don wish and dare not thought that it would happen
as i don bear to be apart with her . . . Cant imagine
wad would happen to me if that really happens . . i
wouldnt dare to think of the consequences . . .

I don wish this relationship would end as i really
cherished it and spent all my heart on it . . . I'm
juz too afraid to be hurt again . . . hMmm no one
ever will understands how i feel and they will never
know cause its too complicated . . The fear i had
in the past . . The pain i had . . hmmm there must
be trust in every relationship huh? yup! i agree there
is . . But the fear is still there . . .

Maybe i'm just like what others said bahz . . i don
have confidence in myself . . . Not that i don have
is donno why i have the thinking of that everyone
around me is better, better looking, better in studies
etc as compared to me . . I'm not a perfect guy . . I
got so much that i'm lack of . . I'm just too pessimistic
bahz . . I dare not think too highly of myself . . Dare
think i'm good in anything unless i really have much
success in doing it . . Like for drawing which is the one
and only thing i'm good in . .

hMmmm tell me wad should i do . . . haiis i hope she
wont leave me no matters wad bahz . . Coz i wanted
to be with her for my life . . . hMmm jus wished to
heard her saying to me that she'll always be with me
always and will never leave me . . .

[[ Last of all . . don leave me . . . *sad* ]]

2.25am-

2006-05-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU TOO!

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU,
BECAUSE I CANT AFFORD TO LOSE YOU . . .

I NEED YOU TO LIVE ON,
AND BRIGHTENS UP MY LIFE . .

LAST OF ALL I LOVE YOU . . .

2006-05-13T17:57:00.000+08:00

hMmm today morning woke up at 9+am . . yawns . . was so damn tired . . then bo bian go get changed if not i late then i die . . hMmmm then waited at the bus stop drowsily . . *zZzzzZzz*
hMmm then got a call from her then got up in a bus tat she's in . . Then not drowsy le . . heex . . see her so sweet brightens up my day . . hmmm . .

When reached causeway we went to buy tickets first . . hMmm xinyi wanted to watch the movie donno call wad posidon or possidden . . anyway its a story about a cruise lahz . . like titanic like tat de . . hMmm then went to arcade to play! heex . . play bb shooting , daytona . . hMmm KOF was full (sobz sobz) . . hMm then after that went to walk walk around . .

Walked pass 77th street and the two girld donno wad they're up to . . so secretive . . lolz . . hmmm then at first planned to go out with zihan de . . but in the end i decided not to go le coz they watching mission impossible 3 then after that eat le then go home le mahz . . plus i watched tat show before le and later theyu finish watching eat le then go home so sianz . . so i decided to stay at home lo since i'm already at home . .

hmmm then went to take neo print . . heex donno why but just love to take photos with her . . hmmmm . .rushed to cinema then coz we're late . .hMmm they bought potato wedges , nuggets and drinks then went into the cinema . . hMmmm the show was nice lahz tats all i can say . . much nicer than titanic . . the only difference is that titanic is more of romance while tat is more of thrils . .

hMm in the cinema was so happy . . heex and so sweet too . . DON TELL U LEHZ! lolz . . then when watch till half went back to the empty couple seats behind . . heex so comfortable siaz . . hmmm sweet sweet*! heex . . hMmmm when the show ends . . we went to the arcade again as she saw her friend and then i saw two children playing the dinosaur de game . . the slot in and didnt waited patiently then left le . .then they provided me with free two credits without knowing . . heex this is the first time i tried playing my own with two guns . . Was nice ok . . heex . . although very hard to control lahz but easy to kill more in a screen . . but hard to aim a certain point . . arg . . hMmmm was beaten at the T-rex stage coz need to aim carefully and i was using two guns mahz . . heex . .

After the game ends, we kept walking around without knowing wad to do and where to go . . hMmmm then went to watch scenery lor . . hMmm after tat then decided to go lay bb but in the end also no play . . haiis then went home le . . so bored at home . .

[[ Nohing is forever like wad u said then let it be always bahz . . ]]

2006-05-12T17:35:00.000+08:00

(thats me which i took after i reached home)

(D and me in taxi)

hmMmm today went to orchard de plaza singapura with her, her cousin and her cousin's friend . . heex my D sweet bahz know i like tat place then purposely choose to go there . . heex love her so much . . hMmm meet up at 11.10am at the bus stop near my house . . . As usual i was late heex ops!
hMmm then saw them there . . Sobz she told me tat they missed two buses . . so sorry to made them wait . .
hMmm when the bus came , her cousin's friend took the bus there first becoz there isnt any space left in the bus so xin yi, xiu jinD and me have to take taxi there . . hMmm . . .

When reached there went to look for them then went to arcade first HEEX! ARCADE! hMmmm finally get my hands on King Of Fighter YAY! hMmm had rounds of KOF and then went to the cinema to get tickets but there are too many ppl in the queue so lazy to line up . .
hMmm then after tat went to SWENSENS!
Yumyum ! ! we had our ice creams there . . I got chewy chocolate float while she had sundae float . . hMmm was very satisfied with the services there . . hMmm but the worst thing tat made me so paiseh was when i wanna call for the bill . . i suddenly forgotten how to say so instead of saying " Bill please " i said " i wanna pay the money " . . OMG was like so arg . . hMmm nvm at least i learnt a lesson . . Wont forget anymore next time . .

hmm then xinyi's friends went home coz one of them not feeling well . . hMmm then xinyi had to join us together . . I afraid tat we'll left her out but never . . We joke around and play arcade together . . hEex . . bought a pair of rings again . . hMm went to arcade and played basketbal shooting . . hMm wa she was like omg shooting so pro siaz too bad me play bb is as a "zong feng" tats why most of my bb skill is near the ring there then can see de . . heex . .but nvm my shooting isnt bad either in the game . . heex . . for one minute i shoot 73 in siaz . . Lolz *clap clap*

hmmm then she told me her stomach pain when i was in the middle of the game . . Was so worried about her . . So didnt concentrate much on tactics to win but only wanna finish the game fast to go look for her . . but she's back before i finish the game . . Am worried about her when she left for toilet . . hMmm poor her . . hMmm then we decided to go to heron there and walk walk . . heex . . hMmm when reached the MRT she received a call from her mum and ask her go home immediately and xinyi received a call from her family . . Haiis then have to go home early at 5pm . .

Although we didnt really hang out till night time but nvm lahz its ok . . It has been a very good day already . . She has been treating me so sweet and good at the start of the day till the end of the day . . hMmmm took bus home then . . On the way home was so comfortable . . heex don tell you . . hmmm then went home le . . sad to see her go . . hMmmm nvm lahz she's always the best . .
Indeed i cant deny she has a good cousin which don mind hanging out with me and her . .

[[ my life has been changed and brighten up ever since i have u ]]

2006-05-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

hMmm haiis so sianz siaz . .arg finally today is the end of the papers le . .
hMmm yay can sleep lo! muahaha . . Wa yesterday night my dinner was so delicious siaz .. guess wad i had for dinner?

hEex Macdonald's double fillet burger, KFC's shrooms burger , Some sushi and a big bowl of noodles . . muahaha so full lor . .
hEex donno why these few days like to drink milk so much siaz . . Everyday like at least will buy one bottle to drink . . lolz nvm milk
is healthy!

hMmm so sianz so many exams . . the next one coming up will be chinese de O level le . . hMmmm . . THIS ONE THEN STRESS AR! cannot liao lahz i rest for a few days then have to chiong chinese le . . wa piangz juz received my timetable for next week and the week after next . . Everyday morning got 2hr30mins of chinese straight siaz. . .Die ar so many . . haiis but bo bian now must really buck up le!

Jia you! hMmm wa then june holidays coming le . . Time really flies siaz . . heex today after school donno where to go arg . . then gavin smsed me and ask if i wanna go 6head or not then i go see see around lor then ended up playing . . hMmmmm haiis haiis haiis . . then after tat went home le lo . .

hMmm then today at about 4pm+ went to plaza to have my "lunch" with zihan . . hMmm went there saw ciyun they all then went to play pool . . hmMmm muahaha first game trash zihan! muahaha! heex . . then had six rounds of pool games! nice! heex . . hMmm then went off to play arcade! So long no go arcade le heex had my hands on KOF again! muahaha . . hmmmm heex stupid plaza de arcade! all controller got problem one! ARG! hMmm then went to have my meal! muahaha!
Bought four bread talk de bread and buns and ate chicken rice and a chicken steak! hMmm yum yum! and bought milk too!!! muahaha! Love strawberry milk! hMmm . . wa so full! hMmm . .

then went home . . lolz so fun going out with him . . can joke so much . . heex and can suan him alot too . . lolz . .hmmm then sat at the playground underneath my block there chit chat . . hMm then went home le . . so careless de me lost so many things . . haiis . . I can lost everything except my friends and her . .

[[ i need her more than ever . . ]]

2006-05-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

hMmmm yesterday after me and her exam . . We went to plaza to walk walk and have our lunch there . . hMmmm . . Saw many of our friends there . . hMmm she saw her friends n i saw mine . . hMmm lolz she was called as the auntie tat collected money for ppl going in the toilet de coz we're sitting at the bench outside the toilet . .

hMmm then donno wanna go where have our lunch coz we're like want go then later don want then want again . . hMmm . . tHen at first decided to eat KFC de but the queeue too long le i lazy buy . . hMmm then went to koptiam instead lo . . hMmm then i bought yong tao fu then we two share . . heex . . the noodles suddenly became so sweet siaz . . hMmm . . coz she got feed me . . hMmm then waited for ah pek to come then went to popular to get her stationaries and then to bungawang solo . . hMmm heex tell you one thing she choose thing like auntie siaz . . lolz wawawa at her blog say next time don help me buy gloceries ar?! lolz . . don care ar! lolz . . hMmmm then went home lo . . heex . .

hMmm today had my physics paper . . haiis both chem and physics was like . . opmg faint can . . study and put in so much effort till i got headache then in the end like shit like tat don even know how to do a single question . . hMmm having headache for two days le . . haiis hope she can take care of me everyday siaz . .then will feel better . . hMmmm . . today ar? hMmm after school went to greenridge to have BREAKFAST!
hMmm had a half boiled egg and ate a star fruit . . hMmmm heex then after that while waiting for ah pek to finish his meal we went to 7eleven . . hMm i don feel like eating anything so i no buy anything coz stomachache . . hMmm sat outside 7eleven and talk lol. . heex talking about talk, still remember the first time when we had our chit chat session at the bench in school . . hMmm we were like so shy lo don even dare to talk to each other much and she only keep looking at me drawing . . hMm then now like anything also can takl liao . . lOlz didnt regret knowing her . . hMmmmm stress siaz . . after my mid year then two weeks later will be my chinese O lvl le . . haiis . . sianz diao so stressed! arg! i want a break! hMmMm . . haiis . . .

I cant cope . . haiis . . .

[[ need u so much everyday . . . ]]

2006-05-06T09:22:00.000+08:00

hMmm . . yesterday morning woke up early at 9.30am . . *yawns* . . hMmm then went to prepare everything then went to fetch her after her exams . . hMmm waited for tat ****ing bus for 25mins . . Donno wtf is tat bus driver doing . . drive so slow . . other bus only needs to take 15 mins to wait . . arg . . stupid . .

hMmm then went to greenridge to have my breakfast but KFC didnt open . . arg . . wtf so late then open one . . haiis then bo bian . . tried going around greenridge to look for mountain dew but cant find lehz so i bought another instead. . And then bought some biscuits as my breakfast instead . . hMmmm then went walking around lor . . see will meet anyone i know or not . . hMmm then went standing outside the school to wait for her . .

I think waiting for her after school will be wad its like when i left this school bahz . . Felt so sad when thought of leaving the school . . Its like i wont be able to see her everyday morning any more or during recess . . But nvm lahz i'll reall y work hard for my Os coz i wanna get into poly and wanna find a good job so tat will have a bright future! with her of course . . hMmmm I must work hard! *please, whoever can motivates me come, i need more motivation now*

hMmmm after this mid year will be rushing for Olvls le . . . hMmm my chinese O level is only three weeks from now . . So after Mid year i will chiong chinese . . then after chinese will be chiong DnT then when DnT de everything done le i'll chiong others! CHIONG AR!
hMmm i'm serious this time . . hMmm heex . . ok back to my life . . hMmm saw her coming of of the school then . . Then things happened . . hMmm erm then we walk to the bus stop together lor . . heex she so funny siaz . . She thought kbkb is kpo kpo . . lolz . .

Hmmm took alot of photos of her today . . so happy . . everynight ever since i started the relationship with her, i've always been viewing her photos before sleeping . . hMmmm heex then after sending her home went to look for my friends in greenridge . . Lolz got the two xiongs, tang, cho-ley and ah pek . . then they went t cut hair . . heex . . hMmm went to plaza with acompanion of zihan . . hMmm then went there walk walk . . saw weijia and jennifer they all in arcade . . hMmmm nothing to do siaz . . then saw someone in NTUC too . . omg . . hMmm then on the way home went to pasamalam with zihan . . lolz! lke i promised i'll but shark fin's soup and i did! MUHAHAHA! shark fin! my favorite! heex . .

`Blessings to all my friends in the whole ZSS to their exams and their daily life.

especially those ppl tat lends a helping hand when i'm in need :
zihan, winnie, leona, the two xiongs, joey, runtang, sumo, shiwei, juswin, Jinyou, junkai, calvin, huishan, sabrina, sheryl, cheeping, yu xiang , junting , tingyun, audrey , cihui , yihui mei mei, eunice mei, fiona mei, krystal mei and jaslyn mei .. My cousins too! . . hMmm last but not least . . ( i wont forget about you de lahz ) my D. . . heex . .

`Thanks you all for making my life a great one . .

2006-05-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

hMmmmm went to sch early in the morning again! hMm for the same purpose again too! hMmm heez so happy to see her early in the morning . . she hangs the smile on my face every morning i see her . . heex . .

hMmmm truely loved her so much .. . hMmm had my Emaths paper2 and SS today . . arg . . It totally sucks lor why go put two different subjects at a day?! i rather they put paper1 and 2 together then don need to study seperate things . donno is who plan the time table de . . sorry if i offended anyone but tats juz how i think . . hMm then Emaths peper
2 was like omg! haiis think am really hopeless le lahz . . haiis almost half of the paper donno how to do . . WHAT TO DO?! SO STRESSED UP!
ARG! hMmm haiis then SS paper was like worst lor . .

haiis . . 25marks gONE!!!!!! GONE!!!! HALF OF THE PEPER DE MARKS GONE!!! arg kNow why? coz i left my book in the cupboard then donno which bloody idiot go take! ARG ****!!!!! tAke ppl's book without permission! NO MONEY GO BUY IS IT?! Juz becoz of ur inconsiderate action u made me lose 25marks asshole! ARG!

hMmm haiis . . tell me wad can i do now . . haiis can only work hard for the left papers! especially chemistry . . Its my worst subject for now . . haiis hope i can do it bahz . . .

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE TAKING THE MID YEAR PAPERS!
JIA YOU! (this don count to tat person who stole my textbook)

[[hopeless hopeless hopeless . . . ]]

2006-05-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

hMmm today had my chinese paper 1 and 2 . . arg so stressed up . . hMmm went to school early these few days to study and acc her . . heex . . hMmm felt so tired these few days . . arg . . exams exams exams! haiis . . hMmmm went to the hall and have our pledge . . hMmm felt much comfortable having exams in hall rather than in the classroom . . hMmm in the hall it isnt hot, noisy or wad . nothing is able to distract ur attention there . . hMmmm well . . had my paper1 first . . hMmm am quite confident in my paper1 but not in paper2 . .

i lost 21 marks for paper two coz i missed out 5compre questions with each 4,5,5,4 and 3 marks . . hMmm didnt had enough time . . arg hope in o lvls i wont be like the same . . nrrd to plan my time more well . . haiis wad i most afraid is maths and science paper . . Those two subjects are my favorites but i lost in terest in physics this yr coz mr ng wasnt teaching us anymore as he's a great teacher that motivates me and mathz, coz of the lack of understanding of a few chapters tat makes me lose the heart on maths . .

hMmm i'm prepatred now . . after mid year i really gonna buck up coz chinese O lvls is coming in about three weeks time . . hMmm we're having chinese O lvl paper in 29th of may . . hMmm . . so stressed up . . lucky i got her to acc me . . hMm thz alot D. heex . . hMmm went home after sch . . hMmmmmm then . . . erm . . blehz . . .

[[ eXaMs! aRg wanna passed everyone of them but hab no confidence in maths, science and geog. ]]

2006-04-30T11:08:00.000+08:00

hMmmm . . yesterday was erm . . how to say . . ok ok day? lolz hMmm in the morning prepared to set off and send her to school . . hMmm then waited at jelapang LRT for her friend to come . . hMmm bOught a few currypuffs and a drink as my breakfast . . hMmm then when her friend reached then she left le . . hMmmm sad to see her go but glad to see her safe . .

hMmmm then went to 6head bb court to look for my friend there . . hMmm when i reach they're already planning to go le . . so i play a while only lor . . hMmm at first wanna study a bit first de but they leaving soon le mahz so go play first lo . . hMmm was so damn freaking hot siaz . . arg! then we all took off our clothes . . OMG! was so sweaty . .hMmm then after that we set off to plaza . . We went to plaza in such a big group siaz . . lolz . . got me, juswin, runtang, joey, yilong, weiwei , gavin and sheng ei . . then after that shiwei comes along . .hMmm heex feels so comfortable in such a big group . .hMmmm like friends had never ending things to say . . hMmmm then reached plaza and went to Long john silvers to had our "lunch" . . hMmm then went to walk walk around . .

hMmm saw oen of the VCD shop is previewing Advent children so of course i would stand there and watch it . . heex then they all come along and watch too . . WA CLOUD!!! so shuai . . heeex (D also very cute lahz later she jealous ) hMmm then went to the bowling alle ythere to play pool . . hMmmm say li ru, katong etc there . . lolz . . was forced to eat a strawberry . . But nvm its nice . . heex . . then started our GAME! hMmm wa siao siao don see weiwei and shen ei like donno how to play like tat . . they so zun can! hMmm i wanna learn to play pool more! arg! did lots of stuns heex some went in but some bounced out . . But the most paiseh thing is tat there were three times when i aim hard and wanna hit hard, the white ball bounce off the table . . Everyone was like looking at me lor so embarassing . . lolz . . hMm then after that about 2.40+ walk to yilong's house with weiwei and we chatted along the way . . hMmmm then went to fetch her after her remedial then . .sent her home . . So happy to see her . .hmmmm well thats all .. .

[[ Friends are forever thing tat u cant afford to lose ]]

2006-04-28T17:10:00.000+08:00

AHHHHH!!!! This feeling . . The one i've been feared for . . Has came back . . haiis . . I don want this feeling . . Why why why why . . It hurts so much . . .

haiis today had my P.E hMmmm then recess . . then lessons . .then go plaza . . then go home . . then haiis . . .
hMmm i wish i wished . . hMm wished to score good grades in my O lvls and also to be wid her for my life . . can? haiis . . .

Really don have the mood to do anything . . .

Why???? haiis . . .
It mades me feel like crying . . Sometimes i really don understand . .

[[ cry cry cry . . drifting drifting drifting . . ]]

A grown up guy which seems tough
but a little kid and weak heart tat seemd so soft.
may be tough on the outside,
but weak in the inside.

2006-04-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

hMmmm haiis recently had been very stressed up bahz . . really wished to study hard form now but my motivation isn't really enough to push me harder and longer . . hmMmm i wished i'll be able to buck up as soon as possible and in the right time . . I don wished to regret my life . . hMmmm keep having stomach ache these few days . . haiis . .

hMmm had DnT today . . Mr loi say the school is considering whether to cut my hais botak or not . . haiis . . hMmmm BOTAK?!?!?!?! NEVER!!!
hMm i'll be cutting my hair tml bahz . . as soon as possible . . Haiis . . i cut my hair not becoz scared of the teacher but is scared of the word BOTAK!
Think u all will be thinking wad if in future i go NS rite? hMmm heex next time then say lo . . for the time being don wan! hahaz! hMmmm haiis stomach pain again . . arg . . hMmm . . Haiis arg hMM today after school went to find her then heex . . hMmm then raining worz . . went to my class, so cooling and comfortable . . can enjoy the peace and cool air in the class . . hMmm then after that saw ciyun they all . . lolz was playing around wid them then . . hMmm then jia hao said something which made me felt so angry! ARG!

He say me never mind but i don allow him to insult her!!!! ARG! FUCK! although i know it was meant to be a joke but i still treat it seriously coz i don think everythign can be meant for a joke . . hMm chase him all the way! was so damn fuck up . . Arg then grabbed his hand and try to twist it to make him feel the pain!!!! ARG!

Went back to her after that then went home le . . hMmm help her shelter from all the rain droplets, don wanna her to fall sick . . hMmmm . . Then when reached pending LRT there then have to go seperate ways le . . So sad to see her go . . hMmm haiis then went home le lo . .

STRESS!!!!!
[[ love her more each day ]]

2006-04-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

hMmmm today early in the morning kanna woke up by my mum . . Was so freak out!!!! DISTURB ME FROM MY SLEEP! ARG!!She was asking me to go her working place . . But i insist on not going . . Then she kept pulling my shirt and wake me up! She was angry lahz i know then she pull so hard man! Early in the morning have to fight with her ..

Then in the end bo bian have to go lor . . But my papa drive me there . . hmmm then had my breakfast unhappily . . She infuriates me so much! ARG! Then went off at 11+ to go lot 1 . . hMmm heex so happy to see her once again!

hMMmm! then when we met, we was like donno wad to do then i decided to go and have our neoprint . . heex . . i know she don like tats why bo bian have to drag her there . . hahaz! hMmm our neoprint was nice sia! hMmm then after that i suggest to go watch movie! hMmm YAY! but the sad thing is no nice show to watch so anyhow grabbed three tickets of a show lor . . hMmm then went in the cinema. . hMmm sat at the back of the stairs wid her . . hMmm don tell u wad happen. . heex . . Her cousin was like so poor thing kanna pang seh by us . . sorry xinyi . .
hMm after the movie we went to had my lunch . . hMmm then me and her share a bowl of chicken cutlet rice . . heex as usual, she ate till half then full le . . hMm then when about to finish the food, she feed me! SO sweet!! LOVE HER!

hMmm then had to sent her to her tuition . . Was rather sad to see her leave . . haiis . . When she left me, i kinda feel so down . . hMmmm . . I wish we can be liek this always . . The sweetness thats in us . .

8.19pm-

2006-04-22T00:20:00.000+08:00

I AM TAGGED BY xiujin. arg.

Name 20 people you can think of right now at the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people. OK tag at least 5 people... Ready? hMmmm Start . .

1. Xiujin D!
2. Winnie
3. Zihan
4. Nyssa
5. Jin you
6. Leona
7. Jun kai
8. Yi hui
9. Fiona
10. Nelson
11. Hui shan
12. Sabrina
13. Weixiong
14. Jun ting
15. TiggerYun
16. Yu xiang
17. Layhan
18. Michelle
19. Douglas
20. Sheryl

Questions and Answer :

1. how do you meet 14?
- Erm the first time when she called me.

2. what will you do if you never meet 1?
- i will die. And i love her! heex.

3. what will you do if 20 and 9 dated?
- IMPOSSIBLE! coz they're both girls . .

4. did you ever like 19?
- NO! he's a guy!

5. would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
- NO! they're both girls . . >.<"

6. describe 3.
- Old. . . LOLZ! jkjk! he's a good friend.

7. do you think 8 is attractive?
- OF COURSE! she shocked me! lol jkjk hMm she got so many ppl like . .

8. tell me something about 7.
- Lolz a good friend tat i knew since pri.2!

9. do you know any of 12's family?
- Yes . . her sister and her cousin in my class.

10. what's 8's favourite?
- Hello kitty.

11. what will you do if 18 confesses he/she likes you?
- No never! I'm her ham ham haha!

12. what language(s) does 15 speak?
- english and chinese? hMmm others i donno . .

13. who is 9 going out with?
- hMmm . . not sure lehz . .

14. how old is 16 now?
- Still 15 havent birthday yet.

15. when is the last time you talk to 13?
- juz now.

16. what is 2's favourite band/singer?
- Hahaz i think jay bahz if not wrong.

17. would you ever date 4?
- No! later D kill me.

18. would you ever date 7?
- SIAO! he guy lehz!

19. is 15 single?
-yup!

20. what's 10 last name?
- teo

21. would you ever be in serious relationship with 11?
- Last time . . its the past le . .

22. what school does 3 go to?
- ZSS lahz!

23. where does 6 live?
- Jelapang

24. what's your favourite thing about 5?
- Brotherhood

25. have you seen 1 naked?
NO LAH SHE DON WAN!!!! ARG!! OF COURSE I WANT! hahaha . . lol jkjk . .

The 5unlucky ppl tat is gonna tagged by me!
Winnie-
HUishan-
Fiona-
Leona-
Eunice-

2006-04-19T22:22:00.000+08:00

thats how i look when in pain . .

aRg feeling so unwell today . . Ever since morning already not feeling well le . . almost vomitted during recess . .

Juz now finally vomitted all out le . . Feeling so sick . .
hAiis not a good day either . .

hAiis haiis haiis . .

2006-04-15T19:46:00.000+08:00

Haiis why everyday i still feel the same? What am i sad about? . . I really donno . . I know there's juz something thats troubling me alot and i don know wad it is . .

Is it relationship? Is it family? Is it being alone? Or is it that i'm lack of care and love? What is it then? . . hMmm i felt so silly typing all these out but thats juz how i feel everyday . . I tends to forget all these sadness and my sickness when i'm with my friends and her . . But when i'm alone . . It all juz came back . .

Maybe i really need someone that can really accompany me for life . . But who will that be? Who will be the one who's willingly to help me can keep me company? . . .

When will i wake up and really study? When will my heart be healed? When will my sickness be gone?

When will every of my questions be answered?

2006-04-15T17:23:00.000+08:00

hMmm thats photo taken of me with fiona and me with sabrina . . hMmm on thursday miss kuek bought our class a mango cake . .

hMmm every had one piece of it . .wa taking pictures and eating during the two english lessons . . Wao nice!hMmmm then we sang happy birthday songs to everyone that had their birthday from january to april . .hMmmm hehez was fun . .

Wao went to buy final fantasy advent children de dvd yesterday! WAS SO NICE LOR!!! AHHHH CLOUD!!!

lolz he's cool lor with his 6/7 combiation sword he looks mighty!hMmm but sad this was that i tried going to plaza and lot1 to look for cloud's sword which i wanna hang on my phone. . But i couldnt find any . . i can find squal and tidus one but only cloud's one don have! ARG!hMmmm nvm i'll keep looking for it!

ADVENT CHILDREN!

2006-04-11T17:49:00.000+08:00

Whats wrong? ? ? haiis . .

Why everytime my relationship always like that de?!
WHY WHY WHY?!

why other ppl always can be together happily without worries and only me have to always feared that we might quarrel again?!

WHY?!!!! can anyone tell me WHY!???

Is it that the problem lies on me?! WHAT IS MY PROBLEM???

can anyone tell me ? ? ? ? . . . *sobz sobz* WHY WHY WHY?! WHY IT HAD TO BE ME?! i just wan a simple and fair relationship thats all . . . .

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-06T18:33:00.000+08:00

hMmm thats how i looked when i'm damn angry bahz . . FIERCE BAHZ! mUahahaha . . hMmm today was a sad day? hMmmm lonely? donno how to put it lehz . .
haiiz don really know wad happen today bahz . . hMmm had usual lessons bahz . . class was as per normal . . then today was like hMm how to say? donno lahz haiis . . hMmm then after sch went to find me friend, went to e2 to help him find ppl . . But tat person wasnt around . . hMmm haiis . . Erm then went for my maths rememdial . . When it ends it starts raining . . hMmm then went to the hall to watch other ppl rehersal for the awards day lo coz also got nothng to do . . hMmm was so lonely bahz . . sang songs along the way . . hMmm sang alot of songs today coz was very lonely the whole day . . hMmm nowdays when i'm lonely i'll sang songs to myself de . . hMmm ppl say that my singing is nice . . but i donno is it true or not . .
hMmm hahaz too shy to sing to others le bahz. . hMmm sang songs along de way . . huan huan piao luo de feng ya xiang shi nian~ OPS! hMmmm but sang the wrong song, was already not feeling very good le then suddenly i sang ge qian . . Haiis made me thought of something . .hMmm i like jay's songs coz his lyrics best describes my feeling and very meaingful . . hMmm went home under the rain, when reached home was like so drench . . haiis . .

thz for my good friends that cared so much for me . . thz alot . .u guys rockz!

2006-04-05T19:53:00.000+08:00

Haiiz today was a very disappointed n sad day . . Nvm don feel like talking about it . . I only know today i juz stomp off angrily after something had happen bahz . .
Had always have a question deep in me . . Which is, why other ppl can be with their stead so happily and not me? I finally have found out the answer to it after so many things had happened in the past few years till now . . JUST becoz of a stupid word, " sensetive" .
Becoz of that word, it made me anyhow thought over things tat wouldnt happen, becoz of it, it made me not able to trust anyone, becoz of it, i lose faith in everything i do and not able to have a perfect and stable relationship . . Maybe i really need someone tat would give in to me more bahz . . In my first relationship i'm able to stay for 2 and a half years is becoz my ex gives in to me alot . . At least till now, i learned somethings. I learnt how to give in to others, how to love someone perfectly, how to care for someone . . But one thing i know i'll never learn is to overcome the sense of sensetivity . .
Maybe today i'm just being too sensetive or wad . . Maybe today i'm the one in the wrong or maybe . . . haiiz . .I really hope she can understands about it . . Jealous may be a good and bad thing, for the bad, it will ruin the relationship, as for the good, it shows how much ur love one cares about you . . Its hard to hung on, i donno how to carry on . . I donno wad to do . . I know she felt very sad too but so am i . . I donno wad she's thinking of but hope she would tell me . . What i know is i'm really serious in this relationship n i really do love her alot . . alot and more then alot more . .
Being with her sure makes me happy but wad i have to say is that sorry for being so sensetive . . I cant control it . .
Am just a total failure . . It must have been miserable being with me bahz . .
Whenever sensetivity plays along, i know something is gonna happen next . . Sorry to brought up this but theres once tat is when sensetivity plays along, i havent been talking or smsing with tat girl for months and in the end she finally decides to ask if wanna break . . Haiiz . . That is wad i'm most afraid of , coz it really hurts alot . . Haiiz . . I hope histort wont repeat itself bahz . . Coz i don wish to lose this relationship, i'm serious about you, dear . . .

[[ Last of all, i hope this is just a problem that would be solved and hope the relationship wont juz ends here . . ]]

2006-04-02T14:52:00.000+08:00

hMmm yesterday went to jurong point with her, weekeng and layhan . . hAiiz haha we met up early in the morning . . And erm erm . . was usual lahz co i'm the last to arrive at 10!!! Was so damn late lor coz we planned to meet at 9.40 de . . hMm haha then was kanna scolded by them lor . . Haiiz . . then we went to jurong point lor . . First thing first, we went to get our tickets of ICE AGE2! At first wanna watch dorm de, but it ends late then she cant coz she got tuition . . hmMmm at first was ok lahz but something or should i say someone ruin my day . . arg! was so fucked up!Arg . . nvm then about 2pm+ weekeng n layhan left . . finally . . phew . .
hMmmm then went walking around with her . . hMmm then went to find a place and sit down lor . . haha we chatted on the stairs there . . hMmm then after that we left jurong and headed for lakeside MRT coz she meeting up with her friend . . hMmm then was kinda not feeling well . . felt like vomitting ever since i'm out of the cinema . . hMmm then when her friend arrived, then i left . . When i walk towards the taxi stand there i vomitted . . haiiz really bth kinda dizzy then went to my mum's shop there and rest . . hMmmm . . haiiz so uncomfortable siaz . .
Silly her, smsed me to say sorry tat i have to go home alone . . hahaz its ok de lahz i don mind . . as long as she's safe, i'm glad . . hMmm then went to arcade to release a little of stress and then went to seng siong with my parents and bought damn lots of things . . lolz . .hMmm then went home rest bahz . . haiiz although wasnt feeling well tat day but i really did enjoy it . . Thankz to her . . She brightens up everything . . .

2006-03-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

Browsing upon the stars in the sky
i made a wish and closed my eye.
If i didnt met you
my life would be so empty,
and i wouldnt have been craving so much to juz see you.

Had endless thoughts of you in my mind,
which causes me to stay behind.
Not to be pessimistic you told me,
or should i be the optimistic me?

Walking alone in the middle of the night,
there wasnt any sense of presence of anyone.
I never had found the words to say,
you're the one i think about each day.
I need someone to guide me and accompany me through my life,
and love me throughout my life.

The memories of your past arises,
which made you lost your way back.
I wish to be the one who accompanies you,
which will buoyed you on your way through ur life . . .

If you trust me . . .

2006-03-24T17:17:00.000+08:00

( Some drawings drawn by me that i took it with my phone ) ENJOY! :)

2006-03-24T16:42:00.000+08:00

hMmm haiiz today not really a great day bahz as i can say . . . Went to school happily hMmm then in the morning was still ok bahz . . .

Haiiz then after that not feeling well . . Had gastric again . . Then was forced to do 2.4 lor . . hAiiz then walked with some of my classmates all the way . . And our timing was 28.28 . . Lolz . . . hMmm then after that few more lessons then after school le . . Today was so boring siaz . . Nothing much to blog about lahz . .

hMmm tHen after school got the chinese mok test . . Was so damn difficult lor . . Haiiz and my progress report was like . . omg don wanna say . . hMMmm after the test went to greenridge mall wid my two mei( fiona and peiling ) to have our lunch . . Then went home alone . . I hate going home alone cause its so lonely . . I really hate to be alone . . .

Beginning to fall in love wid you -

2006-03-19T12:25:00.001+08:00

<-- (me , wx and zh )

<-- ( me and wx )

( zh, joey and me ) ---->

2006-03-19T11:24:00.000+08:00

hMm Friday and yesterday was really fun days! hMmm at friday morning, had to go to school for chinese xie zuo ban . . Then in the afternoon went to runtang house with zihan coz later going to mr teo's house . . hMmm we stayed there from 4pm to 6pm coz they playing dota then had to rush to amerity(donno how to spell) MRT to meet the other ppl from their class . . hAhaz was kinda late . . hMm then kinda regret going to mr teo's house went we reach the MRT coz was kinda boring . . hMmm then proceed to mr teo's house after meeting all . . hMMm then saw mr teo, was kinda pai seh going there coz didnt really know him and went to his house . . was kinda shocked by his friendlyness coz he juz asked me to go in and i told him i'm from other class one then he juz said welcome . .
Then had our buffet there . . hMmm all were vegeterian food coz mr teo eats vegeterian .half of it, i cant stand and have to throw away . . Coz it wasnt nice . . hMm then after that Ong and Runtang they al were doing break dancing near the lift there and i was sitting a side listening to songs . . After that . hMm Didnt really ate much coz very paiseh . . Then saw shark fin's soup! WAO! ITS MY FAVORITE!!
I grabbed a bowl excitedly, after drinking had to pray for the buddism thing was kinda uncomfortable coz my nose cant stand the smoke . . hMm then went down to the void deck there to play monkey . . It was rather fun coz everyone enjoys themselves . . hMmm then it was kinda late so we went to rt's home n stayed there over night . . Then me, joey and zihan went to NGweixiong's house . . They two got bring extra shirt so they can take bath . . So i onl borrowed a wet towel from wx to wip myself clean . . Hmm then proceed to greenyridge there and but some supper coz i was really very hungry . . Then Ong came to meet us and NG have to go meet someone . . hMm when NG meet someone, we were sitting a side n playing a fool . . LOL! being with them was rather fun!
We kept running around to have a better view on wx n someone .. . Was curious on wad they are doing . . hMmm then we decided to sit down n take pictures of us . . then we were chatting under a void deck . . I never had so much fun with them before . . hMmm then after that we went decided to went to runtang's house coz they're rushing us there . . hMmm then on the way we were caught by a Cop, coz it has already pass 11pm and we were still under age of 17 . . Then the cop ask us about our age etc . . After that the cop let us go n ask us go back home . . Wao . . that was such a bad experience . . Hopr it wont happen again . . Hmm then when we reached rt's home, i played com together with joey n Ong till 6.30am . . the rest played majong . . hMm everyone had a short sleep except the two girls, ys, ong , joey and me . . hMm was so tired . . Time flies and its morning again . . Then me, zh n NG went to bangkit to had our breakfast n I went hoem to take a bath . . hMm went to meet them at about 7.10am to have my breakfast too . .then went to fajar bb court for their competition . . hMmmm . . I WAS SO DAMN TIRED! tired till like i can fall asleep in 1sec's time . . hMm then they had their match then after that was like about 2pm+ then we went to macdonald . . they had thier breakfast and i didnt really had the appetite to eat so i skipped it . . Was sleeping in mac while they're eating . . Wasnt really in the good mood as something happen . .
Then went back to play a little of bb then went home . . After taken a bath n ate a burger. . . i went to sleep . . i slept from 4pm yesterday till 12pm this morning . . I WAS SLEEPING FOR UP TO 20HOURS! wao that was my record . . I first time slept till so long . .

[[ Misses the time when we were under a void deck talking and taking photos of ourselfs . . It was really great being with Ong, zh and joey . . ]]

Cant really post the photos , think the blogger got problem so will post the photos again next time . .

2006-03-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

I made a wish during my birthday . . .

Now then i realise how selfish i am to have made that wish . . Now i know what really will makes me happy is that the people around me feels happy n enjoy themselves, i'm happy n satisfied . .

If i were to have a chance to make a new wish . . I would wanna wish that
all the people around me to live n stay heathy . . . thats all i wished . .
Coz the passig of time maade me realise that i have a great family, a big group of great friends, a dozens of great meis . . Thats all the best things i have in my life . .

My families>
Had a great mum n dad that will try thier best to give me wadever i want n needs . . Even if they were sick, they'll still be worrying about me . .

My great friends>
hMmm lets juz start from my class bahz . . 4e4 . . Its always been my nightmare to have been into this class . . that was what i think when i juz got into this class during sec3 . . hMm my thought changed when i realise how great they are when it all talks about brotherhood . . Thz to them . . (especially chenghao, zhi hua, jin you , jun kai , calvin , douglas , yu xiang )
And in 4n1 . . Its a class that talks about team/class spirit . . My after school programme will be hanging out wid them . . Basketball, Group study etc . . (especially zihan, weixiong, juswin, shiwei, runtang, joey,winnie and leona)
THZ GUYZ!
And also all the friends i knew in ZSS . . .

My Great meis>
They are the ones when i'm feeling down, they cheered me up . .
All of them are really close to me coz i treat them equally in order to be fair . .

THZ EVERYONE!!!

[[ Juz suddenly got the feeling wanna thankz all the people who brighten up my life in around me . . . ]] TKCARE GUYZ! :'

2006-03-14T16:33:00.000+08:00

hIhI . . hEre to post again le . . haiiz holiday so sianz siaz . . hMmm woke up early in the morning at 10.40am then gotta prepare for lessons . . Rushed to prepare n go to sch . . Even skipped my breakfast coz no time to eat . . Then was so hungry lor . .

haiiz . .no choice have to bear wid it till afternoon 3pm . . At first planned to go out today to KBOX with friends de . . but in the end thought of that chinese remedial quite important coz this year o lvl le mahz . . so no choice lor decided to attend the xie zuo ban then . .

Hmmm . . wa after xie zuo ban still have to attend may tan de remedial . . . wAs so hungry till 3pm . . then go home alone . . Haiiz today also nothing to write de lahz coz too sianz le . . buAiiz . . .

[[ depressed ]]

2006-03-10T11:28:00.000+08:00

hAiiz . . wad a day . . went to school with a bright smile today coz its my birthday! hAiiz . . hMmm mEt jonathan at jelapang n went to school . . Saw some of my friends n wished me happy birthday . . hMmm then went to parade square n line up then . . . saw ke xin n jia min . . they gave me 6lollipops coz they say they no time go buy present . . then saw maggie they all came to me with a converse plastic bag . .
Li qin, michelle, Yi hui, maggie then pass me the bag n asked me open immediately. . hMm was so happy coz its converse! But . . in the end . . It was bread, hams and cheese being wrapped nicely somemore . . -.-" . . Haiiz then after that had SS test lor . . haiiz not enough time to do again . . hMmm then after school le go plaza eat a little le then go home le . . wad a day kinda disappointed bahz . . . coz got 2nd for high jump . . STUPID LEG! haiiz cant blame . . i injured myself de . . Haha after sports day immediately went LOT1 to buy nc16 vcd! lolz . . my first time . .

( Special thanks to those . . . )

*whom smsed n wished me happy birthday

-Eunice ( 11pm+ )
-fiona (12.02am)
-sabrina ( 12.20am)
-zhi hua ( 12.15am)
-kai yin (10am+)
-ah bie ( 9am+)
-winnie ( 12AM!!! on the dot! )
-fanny ( 11am+ )
-hui shan ( 7am+ )
-sheryl ( 8am+ )
-Lay han ( 6am+ )
-jaslyn ( 8.35pm )
-charis ( 6pm+ )
-weiting (6pm+ )
( the rest sorry if i didnt mentioned ur name coz too much le SRY! )

*whom shake hands n wished me happy birthday or said happy bd to me

-zhihua
-jun kai
-jin you
-calvin
-zi han
-jonathan
-ke xin
-chee ping
-fiona
-yuxiang
-audrey
-michelle
-maggie
-li qin
-yi hui
-run tang
-joey
-siew kiat
-carmen
-yi zhen
-charis
- Zoe
-etc
( the rest sorry if i didnt mentioned ur name coz too much le SRY! )

*whom gave me presents
-the lollipop (thz to jia min n ke xin)
-the prank bread,cheese n ham present ( "thz" to them) arg!
-the cake yihui n li qin baked for me ( thz! it really taste sweet!)
-the panda bear jia min gave me ( thz! really cute!)
-the perfume layhan gave me ( boss hugo de leh! very expensive de siaz!)

<>

hAiiz last of all . . iT isNt a rEally gReAt biRtHday . . hMmm although no presents but never mind lahz Those three buddies that gave me a surprise celebration at pizzahut is already a great big present from them!!!
Without their celebration, my birthday will be worst . . Am so touched by them (leona,winnie and zh) . . Also thz to those who remembered my birthday . . . those who beat me16 times . . NO THZ FROM U ALL!

2006-03-08T19:57:00.000+08:00

wHoooHoooo today am so tOuched anD happy siaz~~~!mUahAhA . . tOdAy is my bEst birthday celebration ever! although its two days earlier but i really am glad and aprreciate wad you guys have done for me! SPECIAL THANKS TO . . . Winnie, Leona and Zihan! U guyz are great! Never regreted knowing u guys!
hMmm am so happy n touched till i donno wad to do but treat u guys greatly . . Thats why i thought of us taking neoprints together! And after that thought of buying something that ONLY four of us HAVE! mUahaha . . So went in to More than words and find someting to buy for you guys! And i found a winnie the pooh and tigger de handphone keychain . . So i thought of buying two tiggers n two winnie the poohs but in the end we all decided to all have tigger instead so tat make us the same . . hMmmm . .
OK! lets start from the beginning . . Yesterday night was watching tv at home when zh suddenly gave me a call n said that tomorrow after sch go LOT1 to celebrate my birthday . . THe today after school, after my geography test, winnie n leona went to lot1 first while zihan waited for me . . . Then we went to look for MR lim lit san coz zh has to hand in his homework . . Which he told me tat it should have been handed in during january . . hMmm then after that we proceed to LOT1 lo . . Zh borrowed from my my phone to gave winnie a call and i kinda keep guessing wad they're up to . . So when we're outside Pizza hut waiting for winnie n leona to come, i decided to trick zh and told him that "winnie told me tat they're getting the cake le" then he replied " huh?! she told u about the cake thing ar?!" then i say yup . . . Then after seeing his expression i know my guess was right! So i told him u're tricked! HAHAHAHA!!! so so easy kanna tricked siaz . . hAhAz hMmm then he was so pissed off by me tricking him! lolz then after that we had our luch in pizzahut and when all out of a sudden! A cake came from behind me and with candles lighted! OMG! i was so shocked! ten they sang the birthday song to me! AHHH!!! so touched!!! aHHH!!!! then i cut the cake and we even took some pictured from our phones!
then after that we went to take neo prints le! hAhAz this is the best present i ever had in my entire life! THANKZ! aNd one more thing! They even wrote " we love u weilun!" on the cake! aww.. .. . thankz i love u guys too!!! Really thanks alot for today! You guys really brighten up me life!

2006-03-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

hAiiz these few days everyone so swei siaz . . Got so much problem coming up . . Lets start from yesterday bahz . . I went to play bb with zihan they all n sprained my leg quite badly!! It was so damn pain lor!!! WTH LAH! hMmm then after that went to greenridege wid winnie n zh to had our food n dessert n drinks . . hMmm then we were at there from 3+ till 6 or 7+ . . kept chatting lor . . hAhAz so many things to say siaz . . . hMmm then went home n wait for mum to bring me to the doctor . .

When my mum reached home . . she immediately went to take a bath n bring me to the doctor . . WTH! so pain lor . .Lucky the doc no twist around n make the Krik krack sound! If not i sure bth de . . hMmm so pain siaz the doctor keep helping me rub muaii leg coz swollen mahz . . hMmm then today morning i have to ask my dad to sent me to sch coz cant really walk much . . hMmm haiiz then was very swei lor . . then chenghao also injured his left leg . . Then during P.E while they are so xin ku on running 2.4, me n chenghao and junlong were sitting there chatting away with companion of dongmei . . hMmm then after sch still had tat stupid liang wen fu thing . . was so damn ******* boring lor . . Don even know if tat will help us in our chinese or not . .
Then after finishing the chem practical thingy . . saw zh as he's waiting for me . . SEE! this is wad i call a true friend . . But am so guilty tat i cant acc him go buy present . . hope he understands me bahz . . hMmm . . Now i don even know if i can go out during my bd worz . . Haizz juz becoz of this problem, i cant do so many things . . now i realise how important our legs, hands, etc are to us . . hAiiz . . no more high jump too . . . Haiizz . . .
Hmm then today leona's bag was stolen at 6head . . which made me thought of the time when my 7610 was stolen . . *SAD* everyone helped to fine around the area . . I even went to find . . With my this injury . . hAiiz . . . So much things had happen to us . . so swei!!!!

[[ aHHH PAIN!!!!! not my leg although it hurts too . . But my heart hurts too!!!! ]]

The day with guo mei mei . .

2006-02-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

hMmm today went to plaza wid zh, fiona n sabrina to go attend guo mei mei's qian chang hui . . .
WA PIANG! was so squeezy and so many ppl siaz . . and damn freaking hot . . earlier on if i know it would be tat hot then i wont wear long sleeve le . .
Haiiz kept sweatiing . .
ARG! Guo mei mei was late!!! hMmm then she sang only two or three songs i think . . i only heard two songs which is Bu pa Bu pa and Gou gou shou . . HmMm her real person don really look alike as compare to her album de photos bahz . ..
hMmm then fiona n sabrina was shouting and cheering for her . . hMmm they looked so happy when they saw Guo mei mei . . hMmm helped them took pictures . . Bo bian who ask me to be so tall . . haiiz then after Guo mei mei sang finish her two songs, she start signing her autograph for her fans n fiona n sabrina went to queeue up too . .
hMmm then me and zh went to have our lunch . . Lolz! i ate ramen!!!
hMmm next time i go plaza i will sure go buy the ramen there de . . erm then after that they went to library to search for their books and after that went to the ARCADE!!!!
hMmm played the game Initial d with fiona . . Lolz its damn fun lor . . hehez then after that sad n fiona went to KAP macdonald . . . (*sigh*) . . hMmm then me and zh stayed in the arcade n played KOF and Takken . . . tHen went to walk around and bought food lor coz i'm hungry le . . dOnno why after eating the big bowl of ramen then 1hr later i hungry again le . . Wao is my appetitte tat big??? hMmm .. . tHen after that we went home le lor . . .
then me n zh sat down under a HDB block to chat . . lolz . . .
tHen i go home le . . . hMmm not a bad day . . QuIte enjOyable worz. . .

[[ Does any of u wanna take a trip nito my heart? ? ? ]]

mY sPoRts dAyz Hits . .

2006-02-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

Had my sports days hits a few days ago . . . For running i only took part in 100m . . At first plan to took part in 4 x 100, 100 and high jump for this year but scared stamina not enough cannot cope so took part in 100 m n high jump only . .
Went to pioneer JC there to have our hits started . . Lolz the funny thing is i went there not really for 100m, but to go there eat . . Felt that the things there so nice to eat . . Bought so many things . . Nuggets, XL roti john, sandwitch, curry puffs etc . . . If anyone notice me will only see me keep running to and back from the canteen with lots of food . . Lolz . . But the sad thing was . . haiiz . . I lost in the 100m . . . I was the last in the position against the participants there . . Was so disappointed . . Am such a failure . . Had been running 100m since last year and at least last year i managed to squeeze into the top 5 . . This year? not even in to semi finals . . *BANG WALL*
Wad to do ? ? ? I'm afraid that in high jump i'm gonna lose again . . If high jump i didnt not get gold for this year i gonna die . . Had been getting gold for high jumo since pri6 till sec2 . . Sec3 so swei leg cramp so bo bian get silver . . . Have lost all my confidence le . . This year so many ppl that jump very high one (e.g. Tuntang and ONG!!!) I jump higher than them coz i'm taller . . If i were to have the same height as them i would definately lose to them . . So envy that they have such good jumping legs . .
Think gonna lose everything in this year's sports day bahz . . Haiiz . . aM jus a failure . . A failure that has nothing . .

[[ With all my faith and hope, wishes that i could get another gold for high jump this year and break another record before leaving this school . . Don wish to disappoint those who supported me in high jump ]]

2006-02-09T20:59:00.000+08:00

hAiiz QuiTe sad lahz . . nEw yeAr sIck siaz so swei . . Haiiz on monday afternoon already not feeling quite well le . . Then at night when reach home immediately had fever . . Bo bian next day cant go school . . then wednesday also cant go coz the condition worsen . . Wed night really bo bian so hab to go see doc le . . Haiiz . . The chinese doc de med so damn ewww . .. so bitter n taste so awlful . .

PuKe!!! hMmm cOuLdnt sLeEp during wed night coz i was like so damn freaking sick . . Kept feel like vomiting but i bare with it coz i damn scared the feeling when u r vomiting . . .So i rather i bare with it . . Bear till in the morning 2am bo bian very tired then lay on the sofa n sleep le . . very poorthing rite? . .

But During this period of sickness, at least i realised how important i am to my families n of course my friends . .
Was so touched by them . . My mum, becoz of me sick, she took two days leave from her job to juz take care of me . . And kept helping me massage my head coz having headache . .
Was really so touched n thought of the past of how i treated her was so damn guilty . . . But sometimes cant control coz i am easily irritated by ppl de . . . But as ppl say, if parents don nag, it means tat they don care . .
hMmm . . .
As fOr my friends . . hAhAz! hMmm winnie smsed me to ask how i feeling . . . And even received calls from zh n jnathan . .
hMmm zh even try to come and visit me right after school but i was using com n he didnt dare knock my door so he thought no one at home . .
Wao . . Was kinda surprise by zh n jonathan . . . Coz normally see them like hack care hack care like tat de then when i sick at least will gimme a call . . hMmm as fOr those that at least i expect an sms from them or wad didnt even cares . .
At least now i know which are the real true friends i've got . .

LoLz hMmm toDay i went to my aunt's house to stay till night coz my mum had to go to work . . Jonathan n zh called today . . Lolz zh wan me to chat with him . . .
lOlz . . hMmm at least am feeling a little better after so many days of rests . . But still got a little fever n headache n kept coughing . .
But at least i'm ready for school tomorrow . .
Hope i will recover as soon as possible bahz . .
Don want my friends around to feel lonely or wad . . And wanna strive my best for the O LEVELS!!!

[[ sometimes i wondered, if i die one day, wad will happen?? Who will be the ones who are sad??(i mean my friends coz i know families sure do as you've spent so many yrs wid them) Which are the friends tat will be dripping tears for me ? ? ? i wonder . . . ]]

2006-01-18T17:26:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY CHOU!!!

2006-01-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

WaO long time no update le . . better update if not got ppl scold me le worz . .
hMmm today worz . . Nothing much lahz hab to wake up in the morning to go to school for DNT o lvl breifing lor . . hMmm went to the sch n had my briefing . . hMm thought of some ideas le but not enough . . i need 20 ideas so gonna crack my brain le . .
hAhAz so tired siaz wake up so early . .
hMmm then after that went to runtang's house . . Saw juswin already there le . . hMmm then see them play Dota lor . so sianz siaz then after juswin play finish then i played CounterStrike wif RT. . Had always heard zh said that online de ppl cs very strong de, i today then get wad he means! Those ppl are really so damn freaking strong . .
HaHAz then after that went to greenridge with shiwei, juswion, rt n yoongsoon to have our lunch at 2pm+ . . hMm was so damn freaking hungry so decided to eat a big meal! mUahaha bought a 3piece chicken meal n a cheese fries . . Muahaha swollowed the whole thing! no lah juz joking nia my mouth not tat big . . Lolz . . .

hMmm then after that wx came along then we went to 6head bb court n played bb . . Long time no touch bb le since sch re open . . hMmm dO a few warm ups by shooting n not much of lay ups . . Erm then played matches with our friends at the bb court there . . . hMmm . . . After finish playing then went home le . . hAiiz . .

Ever since school re open, i felt so stressed up . . This year O lvl lehz n yet i cant find the motivation to keep me studying . . Haiiz . . I'm so stressed up, i'm so afraid that i wont be able to go into poly or wad . . hAiiz wish the Adam koo's workshop can be open sooner . . Heard that its kinda useful . . Can motivate students to study . . hMmm . . .
I wanna get good results . . but everyday after sch then reach home so tired le . . finish bathing n do homework then gotta slp le how to revise . . So damn freaking tired man . .

Everytime see my friends with thier stead . . they hab their stead to love, care n understands about them so good . . N me? haiiz . . who's there to care n concern about me ? . . NO one . . ! ! ! Cant even say out my feelings n everything that is kept inside me . . So uncomfortable . . Who can i count on . . . Ever since sch re open, i've been suffering from all the stress etc . . Lucky i still got some friends who acc me along the way . .
Thz guyz . .

[[ STRESSED!!! sad . . . haiiz . .. ]]

2005-12-24T00:51:00.000+08:00

Nothing much today . . .
hMmm rEcEntly kinda no mood to post le thats why no update so much le . .
Haiiz . . . Today morning went to vist muaii pri. sch. form teacher wid muaii mei(carmen) . .
Before we went there we went to 7eleven to buy some chocolates n instead we bought quite alot for mrs chia. . .
When we reach there, its about 11+am le, at first we should reach at 10am de but becoz carmen was late n i also not enough time to prepare tats why i'm late. . .
Hahaz when reached there mrs chia said. . " hMm u all were kinda early huh???" lolz but in actual fact we were so damn late. . .

We chatted through n until 12pm+ then we left, Mrs chia was so good, she even cooked food for us!
She's such a good teacher. . How i wish she can come to ZHSS n teach me. . .
hMmm then before we left, she gave me n carmen each a present . .
At first she prepared 5 presents but in the end ended up only two ppl go becoz ruixiang cannot make it . .
When we were approaching the school, i made a quess tat the present will be a chocolate n in the end, . . .
Its really a chocolate! wao haha i won! (>.< )". . . lame . . .

hMm after sent carmen to sch becoz she wanted me to acc her to sch, i went to rt house. . .
Today he was so swei, his account kanna hacked n the worst is we donno who, we were trying to guess who's the highest possibility. . .
And ended up suspecting ****. . .
After tat zh came n we went to pizza hut to had our lunch instead. . .
the pizza was SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE!!!
then went to gary house, n plaza n then 6head! WHOOO HOOO muaii shooting improve . . .
But i wanna train more. . .!
I wanna be at least an average bb player! muahahaha. . .

[[ i can sense tat you've left me long ago, if tats wad u wanted then i shall leave bahz . . .]]

2005-12-21T02:29:00.000+08:00

hMmm nOthIng mUcH tO say bahz. . .
hMmm mOnday went to orchard with shiwei,zihan,weixiong n calvin. . .
Although its not really tat fun because all we did was walk walk here walk walk there. . .
But going out wid them i felt so happy because its like we r close friends but i donno wad they think about me bahz. . .
HmmMm at first we reach there in the afternoon at 1 to 2+ pm like tat n drop off the bus at Far east plaza n walk all the way to find Ceni Leisure . . .
On the way we passed alot of shopping malls, i enjoy walking around wid them n talking away becoz its like so fun to go out wid them juz tat they always suan u nia. . . aRg. . .
Then we walk past Paragon... n saw so many exp stuffs lor. . .
hMmm. . . tHen we decided to went in Heron(erm donno how to spell)
to walk walk. . . hMmm then we had our lunch there. .
We ate wanton noodles there as our lunch, of cause, a plate for me wasnt enough so i go for a next round. . .

Behind us on the walls are drawings drawn by ppl who ate there n are gifted for art. . . Me of course is so curious n asked for a pencil n a paper. . .
I ate n drew at the same time . . . Was drawing AE86 as i don really know wad to draw. . . WX they all waited quite long for me n complained. . .
So i had no choice but to give up the drawing n finish the noodles n so we left. . .
Leaving a unfinished ae86 drawn on the piece of paper. . .
Went to Ceni leisure after tat n bought our tickets n played arcade for a while . . .
N i was so happy becoz i challenged calvin n zh to daytona race, Calvin was a pro n tat was the only first time i ever finished an advance lap! wOOohOoo. .
(shhh.. the secret remedy was becoz there were lots of ppl watching n i don wanna make myself lose n sia swei so i hab to concentrate)
hMmm.. then after tat we went walking around in Ceni leisure n had long john again . . .
Then went to catch our movie KING KONG!
We almost fell asleepp in the beginning as it was so damn boring but in the end it was a damn nice show. . .
Was so fuk up in the theater because there was a girl who was sitting behind us keep kbkb tat we r so noisy. . .
Who wouldnt talk in theater huh? *@#!*%
All of us was like so freak out lor luckily she's a girl. . .

Then after the show it was like 8pm+. . . hMmm then we went walking towards plaza singapura(my favorite shopping mall!)
But all the shops in there were almost closed as it was later n so we went to Burger king n had our dinner. . .
hMmm after tat we chatted there till 12+ then i suddenly thought of the past n was like quite quiet for a while. . .
tHen we decided to go to weixiong's house n stay overnight instead since there wasnt anything left for us to do in orchard. . .

We went to bukit panjang plaza's 7eleven to buy some food to wx's house. . .
We went wx house after tat. . . n saw a couple went into a room together . . so of course we were curious n we tried to open the door n its locked. . .
hMmm.. lAte in the night tat time n there were only a guy n a girl of course ppl will thought of dirty things. . .
hMmm.. then shi wei shouted in. . . " wa so smart ar lock the door!!"
lOlz then we were like. . . *RUN!!!*
lOlz.. wE sTarTed off by playing ps2 at wx house. . .
We played KOF,NARUTO n TAKEN. . .
hMmm then they wanna watch Stephen chou's movies so they did n after tat we felt bored n decided to turn it off. . . then they all went to slp except me n zh, we played KOF n NARUTO till 5am+ in the morning then we went to slp. . .

WX's father came in n off the TV n ps2 for us as we left it there. . .
I know becoz i was the last to slp as its kinda warm n uncomfortable as i'm slping on the floor. . .
So we woke up at 12pm+ the next day. . .
Lol calvin keep kicking n elbowing me n zihan. . . Wth. . . lolz but it was a great experience bahz, if got chance i wanna go overnight at wx house again! hEhEz. . .

The next day we decided to go Jurong, at first is becoz we thought Runtang they all would go there to ice skate but in the end they're not there. . .
So we went to had pizza n then after tat went to loof for them in Causeway point(ANOTHER OF MY FAV. sHOPPING MALL!)
Was like went home at (pm+ lor. . .

WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! hAd tWo grEat dAys wItH zh they all. . .!
tHeY aRe tHe bEsT!!!!

THZ GUYZ!!!
U ALL R GREAT!!

[[ it juz went off so suddenly n without leaving any evidence ]]

2005-12-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

haiiz recently life sux more. . .
Nowdays really donno wad to do anymore le. . .
Something had been a missed from me le. . .
hMmm. .
The up coming event will be christmas le bahz. . . but think will be spending my christmas staying at home n do nothing bahz. . .
This year is the one n only year that i've been so sian de . . .
dOnNo wHy. . .
Wish all the fun tat i had before can come back into my life again. . .
PLEASE COME BACK!
I cant live with loneliness, i'll die becoz of it. . .
HaIIz. . .

[[ life became more n more suck each day, wish to end it sweet n clean ]]

2005-12-11T20:17:00.000+08:00

hAiiz qUite a nUmbEr of days had passed le..Now the up coming event celebration will be christmas le.. Then follow by New year then after tat few months after will be my bithday le..Time really flies..Well still the same staying at home almost everyday nowdays so sian really nothing to do le almost rot to death at home le.. Really wish can really go our have fun.. Wx they all going ot on few days before christmas n didnt even ask me along.. Nvm lah maybe to them i'm not really close to them tats why they did not ask..To me my closes friends is only them le..I very poor thing bah..

During christmas everyone will be out celebrating le so shiok! but me, stay at home watch tv..Haha very pityful bahz.. Lolz bo bian maybe no one likes me bahz.. Thats why am left alone..Haiiz.. Everyday wake up,eat lunch then computer then slp then eat dinner then computer, then watch tv till 4 to 5+am... Thats my life.. Sux like hell..At least during sec2 i still can go out likr once every week to either go orchard, if not Causeway or etc.. but now what?! Haha...haiiz my life really sux...Nowdays de Xin shi cant really write out in blog le.. No one to say them all to.. have to keep it in muaii heart everyday..My life is so horrible n so unbearable...................

( me crying )